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Monday, September 18, 2006
The Issue Of Virginity
The Issue of VirginityMaria Clara is dead. And women have changed and continue to change. We are in the 20th century and transformations in their acts and convictions are expected. All throughout the world, women have learned to empower themselves. Although we are in what we call “modern” times, there’s still an issue that many still debate over. In the past, it is regarded as extremely important, but as society changed, perceptions about the matter also became different. This is the issue of virginity. According to some people, many of the Filipino girls still hold conservative attitudes towards virginity and premarital sex. Filipinos are wary of getting into sexual relationships because of the fact that the Filipino society still puts such a high premium on virginity. Virgins are considered as pure and clean while non virgins are belittled. Many non virgins choose not to admit that they have had sexual relationships because they will be branded as “pokpok” or easy lay, “laspag” or worn out due to sexual overuse, “kiri or landi” which means slut and other derogatory names. Many of the men want to marry a virgin woman and non virgin are left alone wondering how their husbands will accept the fact that there’s a man before them. Just an inquiry: why does the society glorify men who sleeps around and degrade women who do the same? And all of us say we advocate equality! If you think that non virgins are the only ones who are subjected o embarrassment, then you are making a big mistake. The stigma goes to both ways. True, society urges women to stay chaste until their wedding day. However, other social factors affect their sexual behavior. Simply look at the idols of the current generation and you will see that sexual liberation is at its peak. Everyday sex is discussed on TV, print and radio. Whether we admit it or not, the once hush-hush issue is now a very common topic. Whether they stick to the moral standards set by society by being a virgin or break the norms by giving it up early, Filipino women will be subjected to stereotypes.If they give it up to a guy whom they aren’t sure they’ll end up with but love nevertheless, they will be called sluts. If they choose to give importance to traditions and conventions, they will be called prudes. Staying a virgin does not assure women that the person they will marry will be loyal to them. That “piece of flesh” or badge of chastity does not assure a successful marriage. On the other side, giving it up to someone before marriage can not also assure them that the guy will eventually marry them. It doesn’t also mean that when they give it up, the guy will love them even more. In the end, virginity shouldn’t be based on what other people think or feel is right. It should be a personal choice. It should always be the women’s choice. It is both a privilege and a responsibility. So let women decide on their own. If they fail, they will suffer the consequences, that’s true, they will find a way to survive. This is simply because the women of today have been educated and prepared to deal with life. Like age-old beliefs and perspectives, virginity should never ever be imposed. |
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