Kor-Fil Teen with a Blog

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

First Love is it?

I was in grade six when I had my first love. Oh yeah. First love. Its not just puppy love. It’s FIRST LOVE. I met him at our school. Honestly, di ko naman siya napansin the first time I saw him. I mean, there’s no attraction. And sa totoo lang, he’s one of the guys I hated. Really. My first impression were he’s BOASTFUL, SELFISH and STUPID.

But then I got to know him when he started texting me. What was funny back then was that we were speaking English to each other and he was really goofing, saying that he was a second year high school and that his name was Lester blah blah blah. [Lester was my ultimate crush that time]. Syempre, I didn’t believe him. WTH?! Ni wala ngang pakialam sakin si Lester that time eh. Waheheh! Kaya hindi talaga ako naniwala. Napagod na din ako sa kakaguess kung sino siya, so I turned off my phone. Ayoko na kasing dinedisturb ako. And that time, I had hundreds of homeworks to finish. So wala taalga akong oras para isayang sa kanya.

After 10 minutes na nakaoff yung phone ko, our phone rang. Syempre, ano bang ginagawa kung nagriring ang phone sa room mo? Stare at it? Hehe. So ayun, sinagot ko kaagad. I was expecting Alexa’s call that time. [o Alexa, hehe.. andito ka o..] The guy was asking if he can talk to me. As if naman o. Di familiar yung voice eh. So kinausap ko. Sabi ko ako yun. He asked me kung may nagtitext daw sakin. Sabi ko naman wala. Sabi niya “ows?” as if? Nacurious na talaga ako. What I hated most is yung parang ginagawa akong tanga. So ayun, blinackmail ko siya para sabihin niya yung name niya. and he told me si “ano”[di ko na sasabihin name niya ha? baka mabasa niya pa.. waaaah!] daw siya.

To make the long story short. We became textmates. Pero pagdating sa school, wala naman kaming kibuan. Ano ba yun? hehe. Two months na siguro na we were texting each other. Then he started texting my bestfriends too. ___ and ___ were his friends when they were in their former school. Iisang club daw sila. Whatever. So there.. they became close to each other. I don’t know, pero wala talaga akong lakas na kausapin siya nong time na yun. I mean, nagssmile ako everytime we bump to each other. Yun din ginagawa niya eh. The he told me that he’s crushing on me. So was I to him. Nag-aminan kaming dalawa. Pero through text. I didn’t have the guts to tell it in front of him. We were going well naman. My bestfriends knew that all. Na you know, my crush ako sa kanya.. as in head over heels yung pagkakagusto ko sa kanya. Kaya natotorpe ako in front of him.

It was Monday[October 20, 2003], we went to a competition. Math Whiz ata yun. I was one of the contestants with one of my bestfriends. That morning, sabi pa sakin ni __ ‘goodluck’… then he texted me too, na goodluck. He waved pa nga noong paakyat na ako sa schoolbus. Syempre, my heart was jumping of joy. We won second place[malas nga eh!]. I was down becuz of that. Second place? I was aiming the first place. Simple math lang naman yun noh. By team kasi, so you have to respect each other’s answers. So ayun, respect. Kaya second place lang kami. [hehe]. As I said, I was feeling down that day. It was 4:30 of the afternoon when “she” texted me. “She” said nagdidate daw sila ni “ano” that exact time. I was like “WTF?!”. My other bezie read the text message and she had the same reaction. I went home feeling down. As if na pinatong sakin ni Atlas[a greek character] yung world na pinapasan niya. Dumating kami sa school, but since it was dark already, wala ng tao. So I directly went home. My Tita and Tito congratulated me. I smiled at them and went upstairs. I really couldn’t believe it. My bestfriend is dating my ultimate crush? Okay lang sana kung di niya alam.. pero the worse was, she knew how I feel for that person. Then the phone rang. I hurriedly answered it. Baka si “ano”. But then I heard an enthusiastic voice saying “KAMI NA!”.. WTF?! For a moment at least, hindi ako nakapagsalita. I was blank. ‘How can she do this to me?’ thoughts that waited for answers. I was able to say ‘right. Ang bilis a?’.. we chatted for awhile.. about the contest, about my classmate’s birthday, about “them”. I decided to say goodbye to take some rest. “she” has a boyfriend that time. And her boyfriend was his bestfriend. October 20 was her boyfriend’s birthday. Seatmate ko pa yung boyfriend niya. Every time he talks about her, I can see in his eyes how happy he is to be her girlfriend. What the hell is happening? I mean, tinutime niya? or brineakan niya si boyfriend para kay “ano”? sana naman, not on his birthday. Ang sama niya naman. And of all the guys out there, bakit ang bestfriend pa ni seatmate? Ang sama naman.

Syempre the next day, I went to school. I looked up at the bright side, mas magiging exciting to. Another trial na binigay sakin ni Lord. At kailangan kong malampasan yun. Everyday, magkasama sila.As in, naisip niyo ba how painful that was for me? Oh gosh! Hanggang ngayon, I still think about it how I managed to go through all that. Wahehehe!

“Her” father found out all about it. Ano bang ginagawa pag nalaman ng Papa mo na may boyfriend ka at the age of 12? They broke up. After a week, he came to me and asked me if he could court me.. nyeh! Ano ako? Panakip butas? He told me na dapat daw pagseselosin lang naman daw nila ako.. he didn’t expect na aabot sa ganun.

Whatever!

Its been two years na rin since that things happened. Honestly, the pain’s still here. I forgave her. Of course, she’s my friend. But I didn’t forget. I’m far from him, pero siya parin. 1 year na kaming hindi nagkikita, pero siya parin. Di naman ako ganito dati ah..

Guess I just really love him.

But I know, time will heal me.

I just hope so.

Then again, I won’t close my heart yet.

As Gennosuke sama said, “fate is what we make.”

Maybe one day, our roads will meet again, see each other, and make our own fates.
I just hope that when that time comes, I’m still ready to accept YOU.

HOME