Singleness

Merriam Webster Dictionary defines the word single as “unmarried” or being left alone. I define the word as “not being in a commitment”, not being in a relationship with someone and not being with a guy or a girl everywhere you go introducing the person as your official girlfriend or boyfriend. Singleness doesn’t mean being lonely, being alone with yourself, being different from the others who have someone. It doesn’t mean when you’re single, you are less of a woman/man. Singleness is a choice or a destiny.

I’ve been single for almost all my life, in other words, NBSB which means No Boyfriend Since Birth. Being single is fun. You can do almost everything. You can go out with almost everyone – girls and boys all at the same time. You can be friends with every other guy without someone asking you questions why, without someone stopping you and without someone getting hurt. If you were to ask me why I didn’t commit, I would probably answer you one thing: I’m not ready. I’m not ready to hold hands with a boy in the open, I’m not ready to introduce him to my friends as my boyfriend, I’m not ready to say ‘I Love You’ and lastly, I’m not ready yet to have my first broken heart.

Most of my friends have boyfriends and girlfriends. I guess among my high school friends, I was the only one who graduated that never left a scar on a boy’s heart back at my school and back at the town. My friends would tease me about it. Others would laugh. Sometimes, it also makes me wonder why. I’ve loved a few times – different guys and different feelings. The last guy I remembered loving was “him”. I was close to having my first “boyfriend” and yet, I chose to let go of him because of the fact that I wasn’t ready. Yes, I regretted it. I cried my heart out when I found out a year later that he fell in love with another girl who looked exactly like me. I thought, I could’ve grabbed the chance God gave me. But crying wouldn’t make any changes; it couldn’t undo what have been done. I chose to move on and be single.

There are many reasons why people choose to be single. My story was one. I was afraid. Others would tell you, they were broken hearted and they can’t love another or, they’re still waiting for that someone who will make them see life in a kaleidoscope, they believe in destiny, their priority is their families; they’re too busy to go out with someone and a thousand more. Each one has his own story, his own reasons, his fears, his wants and needs. It could also be of the fact that they don’t want to be interrupted from their living as single, they don’t want someone to just enter their lives and mess it all up. Sometimes, you can’t blame those people. Being single is not a joke, it takes a lot of courage to be different from the norm and be alone.

I’ve dated a few guys. I’ve been asked a few times if they can court and such. I’ve been super close to changing my status at Friendster from single to “in a relationship”. I’ve met wonderful guys but none of them made me want to be with them, none of them convinced me to give up my daily routine as a single person, none of them made me want to buy a load from the store to text them up all night and get a very big eye bug. NONE.

I have seen my friends cry over a guy for months. I’ve seen my friends being cheated on by their so-called boyfriends and girlfriends. I’ve seen girls being impregnated by their boyfriends and were left all alone to raise up a child. I’ve seen heart-breaking moments because they chose to love, and they were loved in return for a few days, weeks and months. After that, what happens? They all find themselves in a situation where they feel the world has stopped turning; where the question “WHY?” pops out and worse, where they start to blame God.

So why would you really enter a relationship when you know it won’t last at the first place? Is it because you just want to have a boyfriend? Is because you just want to be with somebody? Is it because you you’ve felt the so-called tingling feeling coming up your spine when you are with the person? Please, spare me from that tale. In the end, you’ll still find your hear shattered into pieces. So why risk it?

Being single is fun. You can hang out with your friends; you have all the time in the world. You learn to be independent without relying to someone. You can live without guys or girls. You can evaluate yourself more. There’s no chance of getting hurt. There’s no chance of having a broken heart. There’s no chance of crying for a man or a woman. There’s no chance of drinking late at night with your black mascara smeared on your face with your tears. There are no photos torn into two and thrown at the trashcan. Life is simpler. Life is fun. Life is worry-free.