Ramblings of a Doll Wannabe

All Good Things Come To An End

2011-02-18T00:10:00.000+08:00

I've been in a relationship for a year and ten months now. It's my first relationship and as much as I want it to be perfect, there's a saying that goes like my blog post title and we can't deny the fact that it can be true. Don't get me wrong, I'm breaking up with him not because we cheated or because the absence of love. No. I'm going to break up because I am disappointed of the relationship and him as my boyfriend.

The ride was a little rocky lately. We would always quarrel and get into petty fights. And that's because he couldn't understand the word "special". All I wanted was for him to do something that would sweep me off my feet; something nobody has done for me yet; something that even after fifty years, I'd still remember.

I was actually waiting. Day by day I keep on telling myself that he'll come to understand the word and run an extra mile for me.

Then Valentine's Day.

Since he is my first boyfriend, as a girl, there's always something special going on heart's day. No matter how much a girl says it's corny and cheesy, but she still gets all mushy and still thinks it's sweet.

That's how I am. I expect something from my boyfriend. My friends keep on telling me that my heart's day is something to look forward to because I have a boyfriend and he's ought to do something special for me.

Then I keep quiet.

I don't know what my boyfriend has planned. We were together last Sunday and he told me he doesn't have money to splurge on the special day. I said, 'okay, no problem'. I do understand that he's having a hard time trying to save some bucks as he is finished with his college studies and still waiting for his board exam results. But still.. it's Valentine's. You can get something special in a cheap price.. or better, DO SOMETHING WITHOUT SPENDING A LOT OF CASH.

He sent me a message as to where I would want to eat in the heart's day eve. I read through my cellphone and my mouth dropped. Why is he asking me this? It's ought to be a surprise. Then he asked me if the restaurant I suggested months ago is expensive or not. My eyes widened. Why is he telling me that he doesn't have enough money for our dinner?

You don't ask your date if you can afford the restaurant or not. You don't tell your girlfriend what your plans for tonight because it's supposed to be a surprise - even just for that day. You don't make your girl think like if you're gonna be on a date and if it's higher than your budget, she pays the half. NO! You don't do that.

But he did. My boyfriend did.

I told him I'm not going on a date in the evening since my class ends at 8:30pm and I can't go home past 10. So we have to reschedule. He told me he'll wait outside school as he has a rose for me. YOU DON'T SAY YOU HAVE A ROSE!

My friends were teasing me about him having a surprise. I told them that he's waiting outside and I'm not gonna see him. They insisted that he has a surprise for me. I told them, "No, he has a rose for me." And the guy friend said, "He told you that? It's supposed to be a surprise!". I know right.

But then I still went out and saw him. He was holding a rose and he asked, "Do you wanna go out?" YES I WANNA GO OUT YOU IDIOT! "No, I need to go home." And I took off without even bringing the rose with me.

It's disappointing to know that I've been receiving roses since high school up to now. With or without a boyfriend, my Valentine's is all but the same. Maybe if he had something different, I would've taken it and got on a date with him. Or maybe if he had given the rose in a different unique and oddly way, I would've taken it and my Valentine's would have been great. But no, he sticked to what he knew best - giving a rose without any twist. And I'm the bad guy for not appreciating it.

He never texted me since then. And I sent him a message awhile ago that we need to talk tomorrow. He asked, "Why, what for?" I replied, "Last talk. I'll drop by at 2pm." And he said, "Okay then. Bring my mp3, the charger, battery and usb cord."

That's not the only thing I'll bring. I'll bring everything you've given me and I'll give it all back to you.

He has the right to get mad because I didn't take the roses he gave me and never appreciated the effort of buying one. I wouldn't! That's his role as a boyfriend. I never asked anything from him. I never asked for his time. I don't even mind him not being with me in school everyday. I don't ask him to bring me to places. I don't even ask him to pay. I just asked him to make that one special day indeed special. Just once.

And he gets mad because I didn't thank him for his effort of buying a rose! A rose! Buying a rose! It is a big effort. He exerted a lot of effort in buying a rose! I thought it's the role of a boyfriend. But he thinks he ran an extra mile for buying a rose. How disappointing.

As much as I want this relationship to work out, I'm actually tired. Well,

BURRN!

2010-12-01T00:17:00.000+08:00

Ta jia hao! I'm back, after some hibernation for months. Anyway, I'll be blogging again, and will try to find a good web hosting deal with some of my friends and be active again in the blogosphere. I've been really really lazy to do stuffs at this page and all.

So I just watched Easy A (credits to Bibar for downloading the movie). It's about a girl who lied about her virginity and was later labeled as a slut who sleeps around town while boys pay her stuffs like a gift certificate from Amazon, or Home Depot and sort so they could tell everybody they slept with her. Lesson?
Lying is bad and one small lie can grow into a bigger one and it would be harder for you to straighten things out again.

Believe me, it's true. It's hard to get out from the business unless you have that really really big courage to go out and tell everyone that you've been lying to them. I know. *wink

Enough of that. Now, I'm gonna update you with my studies. Ohhh, third year in college, just one year and I'm off the hook. I can't wait to graduate, but at the same time, afraid to leave the halls of the school. Lately, I've been really tired and have been doing stuffs for my subjects. Like, photo repairs, web designing, software engineering thesis, ya know, get it? I'm enjoying though. I like helping my classmates and I like typing and designing pages. I love learning html and everything about photoshop.

Like, I've been using Photoshop since I was in 2nd year high school and before, I only got 7.0 and now, I have CS5. Hurrah! See how much it progressed? It just keeps getting better! And I've been fascinated with websites since I was in third year high school. It all started with Friendster when you had to tweak your page and be one step ahead from your friends. That's the time I learned CSS, html and how to convert those codes into embeds and all. And then I went onto blogger, then wordpress (I got my own domain before) and tumblr. Tumblr is awesome. It works like blogger and wordpress morphed into one. Anyhow, I can't wait to finally learn all these html things and start doing my own theme/template/page design. I wonder if we're going to use FTP for the files? It was a lot easier.

Example of what we are doing this sem:

Before

After

It's a little crappy and messy, but I think I made it a lot better somehow. Lmao. That's all. Good night. :)

Farewell, Dekaron

2010-04-28T23:37:00.006+08:00

Dear Dekarians,

It is with deep regret that we inform you about the latest news regarding Dekaron SEA.

Gamehi, the developer of Dekaron/2Moons, has preterminated our licensing agreement for Dekaron SEA. Despite our numerous attempts to work out a migration process of all players to Dekaron Global, Gamehi has just recently informed us that they will not allow any player migration.

The developer’s official closure date for Dekaron SEA is May 8, 2010.

For the past year and 4 months, we here at mobiusgames have worked hard to ensure all of you have a truly exciting and action-packed player experience in Dekaron SEA. There has been a lot of effort behind the scenes in ensuring good server performance, cleaning up the game of hackers, and most especially trying to provide new content for this game title.

We would like to thank you for your support throughout this entire time. It has been an interesting adventure. We will surely miss it.

Please stay tuned for more updates as things develop.
Sincerely,
Team mobiusgames

We, Dekarians are completely disappointed of Mobius’ inefficiency as gaming company. We’ve spent a lot of money, time and effort for our game characters only to know that you guys are closing down the game and won’t even come to an agreement that we migrate to Dekaron Global. I hope it’s that easy to just say goodbye to everything. Can we just please get our money back somehow? :( I will surely miss my character and my friends.

Dekarians, in Braiken Castle Dekaron SEA, rallying over the issue of the closure. If you guys can’t give our money back, at least keep the game alive as long as you can. After all, you guys are earning hundreds of thousands from the players. Don’t be such a bad ass. We are deeply broken hearted.

Dekarians, guilds like Templars, Pentagram, DragonKnights and everyone else gathered for their own PK wars versus everybody. We were all waiting for an update from Mobius, and they all promised to give us the Siege Tunnel where Siege/Guild Wars are held and we all held on to that. But then, they are closing down the game, so players had their own PK wars at Draco Desert. Azeon (Azure Knight) and I (Mikara; Segita Hunter) were checking the main areas of Dekaron to see what was going on. Standing beside the "wingers" are incredibly great. This is one of the events where you want to be with them and shout the same cry.

MajesticSlasher (Incar Magician), was strolling around Loa Castle, checking what’s happening around. I heard from Draco that the #1 guild in Dekaron, Pentagram were having their guild photoshoot. So azeon and I went down there to see for ourselves. And there they were. They look so majestic! Most of the members got wings and they're on level 130+ and something with weapons +7 and +8. I super envy them.

DISINFECTANT, majesticSlasher, azeon and miKara had their own photoshoot as a guild in Loa Castle. Others were absent. We will have another picture taking soon enough with the complete members. We're still trying to contact AminoAcid to complete the set. Too bad, I never completed my skills. It's such a heartbreak to say goodbye to my mage this early. Everyone’s still shocked and surprised.

I know to some this is just a game, but for us who dedicated our time, effort and allowance, this is a lot more. We gained friends through Dekaron that we know we will treasure forever. The game taught me how to be patient and how to persevere. It taught me that you can be someone other than yourself in the virtual world. And this really saddens everyone to say goodbye to their characters, their friends and even to the world they thought they fit in. Farewell, Dekaron. They say I should move on, but I know I won't. You're my second most favorite online game ever. Now, I'll try to migrate to Dekaron Global, but I doubt it. With all the DCs I got in Dekaron Sea, I wonder if I could last a minute in Global without DC. I shall be at Facebook everyday of my life. How sad.

13th

2010-04-27T22:05:00.000+08:00

It's our 13th month today. I almost forgot. We were supposed to go out and spend the day together but since I'm your official-yaya-for-the-month-of-April-and-May, we decided to just see each other this Saturday. He just called and greeted me. I was like, "What? What greeting?". And he was like, "Aww, you forgot." Teehee. This is what one gets when she's not going to classes during summer. She forgets the dates!

Btw, I saw this at my tumblr dashboard. It is in Seoul Tower and called Locks of Love. You write your name and the name of the one you love in each locks, you put it on the fence and you throw the key away. It's like, you tied your destiny with him/her for the rest of your life, unless you found the key and unlock it. But really, this is sweet. This is like a promise to be together forever no matter what. I've always loved the concept of this. One day, I wanna go there, bring my own lock and lock away our names together. Ya know, just for fun. ;) I still got my thing on prayers. Two years away from Korea. I can't wait to go back!

Bloggers, can you help me with my comment page? I can't seem to find the right code. I'm really getting stressed out. I got the code here and I edited my layout already, but the comment link is redirecting to nowhere. I don't know what to do anymore. Please do help me. Pretty please. Just send it at my contact form. Oh please. :(

Buttercup!

2010-04-25T19:59:00.000+08:00

I just got my new puppy from Mom's friend and I decided to give it to my boyfriend. His Mom has been asking me for a dog for a few months now and finally, the long wait's over. I delivered him my little Buttercup and it was really cute to look at Manuel holding the puppy like a baby in his arms. Then he whispered, "This will be our baby." I laughed. Oh come on, seriously dude. So I gave him all the dos and don'ts and if something goes wrong, I gave him my veterinarian's number and address. His Mom's a doctor so no worries, I guess.

Last night, as I was browsing through my Facebook friends' accounts, I saw this video of someone called "Lady Gagita" and she was pretty famous among my Facebook neighborhood. I clicked this link and I found myself laughing for a minute and two. She's damn hilarious yet the improvisation on the video was damn good. :D And.. I was horrified to find out that this gorgeous friend of mine at Facebook is one of the Jejemons! She was "jejemonizing" all over her wall and I was tempted to post a comment about her being a Jejemon. But I somehow think it would hurt her, I'll just tell her when we see each other one of this days.

Oh Paris, when will I ever set foot on your wonderful place? Paris is my dream destination together with my future partner in life. I dream of visiting the Eiffel Tower. I dream of going to Louvre, I dream of kissing under the rain in the streets of Paris, France. Ohhh. I can't wait to get rich and buy a ticket for two to Paris, France. Then I shall visit all designer stores and attend a fashion show. I shall take pictures of every thing! I shall go drink a coffee over there parks and throw a coin and wish for something good in life in one of its many wishing fountains. I shall ride through a bike to explore the city in a summer white dress and a cute hat. I shall walk the streets of Paris holding hands with him. I shall drink wine and laugh. I dream of getting there before I get old.. before I die. I dream of being proposed by at Paris with Manuel. I can dream. Right?

Second stop would be Greece. Like when I was in elementary, I was really addicted to the Greek Mythology. I bought a book worth 350php and back at elementary, 350php was big enough to cover up my 3 week allowance. Arggh. I would read all the stories, watch Greek mythology movies and I even draw gods and goddesses with different styles of gowns and color each one of them. I was a total Greek geek! Then one time, I saw this Odysseus film and one of the scenes was shoot at this spring or spa or whatyamacallit infinity pool over a mountain fronting the open sea of Greece. It was just amazing. I plan someday to visit that place. And also the temples - each temple of Greece! :)

And third dream destination would be Egypt. If you want to see something majestic, go to Egypt. Egypt has a rich culture and a very dominant one. It's like it was where everything started. Like from medicine to transportation to a great civilization. I was fascinated by their history and culture. If I was impressed of Greek's mythology, I was more impressed by Egypt's royalty and religion. Their dominance was just awesome. Like, the Romans captured Egypt and usually, the captive are changed by the conqueror's system, society and way of life -- but it was the other way around. The Romans were dominated by Egyptians and their culture that they learned how to mummify themselves in a way as the Egyptian's.

And yes, these 3 places are the greatest in the world. Maybe they're not famous for party clubs, fame and glamour, but it tells a lot more.. to how and what the world was when it was young. The point of this post? Nothing. I just really want to share it with you.

How about you? Do you have your dream destination(s)? :)

Why don't you mind your own business?

2010-04-22T23:57:00.000+08:00

WARNING: This entry is all about bashing. I am apologizing to the people involve, especially to the owner of the photo used to complete this entry all in all.

People don't get it why these kids take a picture of them with empty Starbucks tumbler. They keep on telling that these kids are so "proud" that they could buy an expensive frappe from Starbucks. They even label them as "social climbers". And I wonder why? Is Starbucks that expensive? I honestly don't think so. Their prices are a little "expensive" from the other coffee shops because it tastes good. You are buying for the quality.. and buying a coffee/frappe from Starbucks doesn't mean that you're being a social climber. I guess that's really rude to say. Taking pictures with empty Starbucks tumbler is like taking pictures with your most favorite shirt or even your favorite actor. It's famous, we all know that. It's like when you see someone famous, for sure, you'd go get your camera out and take a picture of yourself with her/him/it no matter what it/she/he looks like. It has the same concept as that. Now for some reason, I don't know why people keep on making a fuss about it. Even Miley Cyrus got a picture of Starbucks coffee in her hands. And let's face it, 90% of us don't really like her, but she's famous and that doesn't exclude her from taking a picture with the famous coffee drink tumbler. Does that make her a "social climber"?

Let's just mind our own business. Let these kids do theirs and you should do yours. There's reaaaallyyyyy nothing wrong about taking pictures with Starbucks tumblers and frappe -- even if it's empty. And let's say, what if it's intentional? What do they convey? Even if they want the whole world to know that somehow they afforded to buy a Starbucks drink, it's not really your business. Cause they don't meddle with yours if you take a picture of yourself in front of your own mirror, right? So I guess, you people should be the one to fuck off. You have no right to belittle or bash these people. Maybe it's not your thing, but it's theirs, so if you have nothing to say, go shut up. You don't need to get out of your way, taking your time off just to get these people's pictures with Starbucks on their pictures. But then again, I guess you're that hateful. :)

Photo credits:

* Compilation of people with Starbucks on their pictures >> http://xiancegalvez.tumblr.com -- Forgive me if I took your photo without asking for permission. I tried all means to reach you, but to no avail.

* Miley Cyrus photo >> http://www.popdirt.com

GLEEK

2010-04-21T19:39:00.000+08:00

I am a GLEEK, and I'm proud of that. This is one hilarious and yet very interesting tv show. It's like High School Musical and 90210 combined. But much much better. I first discovered Glee through a friend of mine. She kept posting pictures of herself with her fingers in a letter "L" form, which I thought meant "Loser" or "Laban". Then everyone started changing their pictures with this letter L on their forehead and it made me so curious. So I searched for it in the web and found Glee. Then I started downloading the episodes on torrent until I found out StarWorld airs episodes of Glee every Wednesday after American Idol. Great shows, back to back.

After awhile, I got tired of downloading the episodes so I looked for some pirated dvds of the show's compilation from Season 1 to I think Season 3. It was awesome. Every night, just before I go to sleep, I watch an episode from the dvd and it's just awesome! Now, my dvd's having a vacation at my boyfriend's crib. He's in love with Quinn. Aww. :) Haha!

Ohhh, summer!

2010-04-04T23:02:00.000+08:00

Summer once again and I'm very happy. Not only that my lovelife is all but legal, this is also a summer that I don't get to worry about how critical my grades are. I guess second year is indeed an easy year for everybody. No more adjusting, no big responsibilities yet - everything is easy! I'm actually looking forward to my third year in Comsci. Wow! Time flies by so fast, right? I now play a part at my society. I'm your Miss Treasurer. :) Oh yeah baby.

I have so many things to tell you guys. I know I've been away for quite sometime. I'm not even sure if there are still people reading and visiting my blog. But oh well, I'm so talkative that I don't care actually. :) Been dying to tell you what's hot and what's not in my life. First stop would be me being legal about having a boyfriend. I finally came out of my shell and told Mom about me and Manuel. She was kind of disappointed at first to know that I kept it for a year. I hope she understands why. Second stop would be me addicted to Looklet.com and Tinierme.com. I don't know how Tinierme.com works though. I'm getting all crazy earning those chibi coins which is my payment to customize my chibi self. While Looklet is a site for aspiring designers. I realized just awhile ago that most of the best and wild designers at the site are only 13-16 years old. I was like, WTF. They're super great. And thirdy, I'm gonna be 19 soon. Aww. I'm not getting any younger so I decided to write 50 things I wanna achieve in life. I really want to be goal-oriented now. I really want to act and think maturely. I need to earn Mom's trust and promise to never break it.

Anyway, I'll update as soon as I can. TTFN

Where'd I get the guts?

2010-03-21T15:23:00.000+08:00

I could probably die now. I mean seriously, I told my Mom I have a boyfriend! I actually thought I'm gonna die right then and there. It felt like a load of burden was lifted up. I feel so easy and light. But I know Mom's gonna ask me about him from now on.. and numerous sermons about please-avoid-getting-pregnant. I don't mind these kinds of sermons since it's really natural for a mom to be all over her daughter. I just want her to accept him and the idea of her daughter going out with a guy. That's all I've been praying ever since. :)

Mad and disappointed.

2010-02-11T21:48:00.000+08:00

I've been having a lot of mood swings lately, especially these past two days. I don't know what's gotten into me. It seems like I don't want to talk anyone and I get pissed so easily, even to my friends. And every time I think of love's day, I feel like crying. And again, I had a petty quarrel with my dear lover.

I was so disappointed when he told me we wouldn't be able to go out this 14th because he's going to church. I'm not against him going to church, but it just sucks cause it's one of my most awaited day this 2010 - most importantly, it's my first time to celebrate Valentine's with a special someone rather my friends or families. And I guess he didn't realize it is that important to me. I can't even tell this to my friends that I'm not going out with him this Sunday because I know for sure, they'd laugh a little, then ask me why and I don't want to explain anything.

This really sucks cause I feel really really bad about it. Guess, I'll watch that Valentine's movie alone.. as usual.

And it's hearts all over the world tonight.

2010-02-08T23:47:00.000+08:00

Yet again, Valentine's Day is coming near and so is his birthday! Okay, I'm really really excited since this will be the first heart's day that I would be spending with a boyfriend - not my friends nor family. :)

I remembered last year's heart's day, he was still courting me and we went to see a movie and just stroll around the mall. I was surprised when he gave me a big bouquet of roses as he was riding on the escalator. My friends were all giddy and found him romantic. :"> Rigggghhhtttt. :33 That was also the day where he truly confessed that he's in love with me and he's willing to take the courtship to another level in which I should not be scared nor surprised. And to actually be sure of myself if I really really like him, I dated another guy (IT WAS JUST ONCE!) just so I'd know how different it would feel when I'm with him. And it was indeed different. With him, I felt so comfortable and I can talk and talk without thinking that he might laugh at me or anything as such.

The thing is, looking back now, I didn't actually think I'd fell in love with him. It just happened. ;) And it's heart's day again and I wonder what the two of us are going to do. It's also Chinese New Year and I plan to dance the night away with him and friends. But if he wants to, we can spend the eve together (not the night). :)

Oh well, I'm still having a dilemma whether to give him a small bag or a wallet? :| Good night ya'll.

>> Guess this will be my love blog. Haha!

NEW LAYOUT

2010-02-04T21:21:00.001+08:00

LAZY to edit.

Silence

2009-11-14T20:53:00.000+08:00

Four hours of deafening silence and it hurt my heart. Was I really with him when I watched 2012? I doubt. I didn't talk nor looked at him the whole time the movie was playing. It was all my fault.

bull-head, that's what i am

2009-11-06T23:02:00.001+08:00

I've never felt so stupid in my whole life until now.

SORRY.

The only word I was able to utter. I sounded lame. I found myself shaking yet at the same time, frozen. I looked at his eager face waiting for another word that would make everything settled for good. And yet, I didn't have anything more to say.

"Look at me." He said and moved my head to his direction. "Sorry for what?"

I wanted to cry so hard but something stopped me. I have no reason to cry. He wouldn't want to see me crying. I couldn't hurt him more by crying in his presence.

He was waiting. Still waiting. And waiting.

I had no choice but to be honest and tell him everything I'm sorry for. And he said the most soothing words I have ever heard in my whole life. The sincerity and apology in his eyes were enough to crush my heart and send butterflies all over my stomach. He is indeed the kind of guy I would ever want and no one else.

SORRY.

He said in almost a whisper in my ears. After many months of "happy times" and cracking up jokes to each other, we found our faces looked all so serious again. I missed this and the "sweetness" after each talk we had and have. I also found myself smiling in each and every word he said.

He's not a ~~boy~~, he's a guy.

This is one thing I appreciate from the relationship I have with him. We know when and how to admit our mistakes. We are not afraid to say sorry and submit to each other. We are not afraid to set dos and don'ts. And I am thankful to God for giving such a wonderful person in my life.

All is well and will be for so many months again. I'll miss the "seriousness" though. *wink

I need you to be not sad

2009-11-05T16:24:00.000+08:00

Mixed emotions. I don't know how to describe what I'm feeling right now. A common yet always an unexplainable phenomenon. I want to cry and yet, I have no reason to. I guess every relationship goes through this, right? It's not always "happy time". It has also "sad and hard times". The thing is, I'm still learning how to adjust and to go through the "hard times". It's hard for me to say everything I feel about every problem we have. If I have it my way, I'd rather keep silent about it and just let it go. But I shouldn't because it'll make things worse.

I don't like the "awkwardness" after each talk. Although we become sweeter with each other, it still feels different. It seems like there's an invisible wall standing between us that we tend to ignore. I don't like the feeling of this. And letting go is not the solution to the problem.

I always make him feel like he's the bad guy. I always see something wrong and I feel like I'm so strict when it comes to our relationship and to our intimacy. And he always feel like he's done nothing right. I don't want him to think anything as such. A good relationship is supposed to make you a better person. It should make you feel happy and contented. And each one of you should try to have the best of each other. I'm not pretty sure if we are in a "good" relationship, but I think I am. I'm happy and contented having him and I'm very open about that. But I also don't get the whole thing. There are things that still bothers me and there are things that makes me sad in ways that I cannot describe in words.

I want to convince myself that this is just a phase that every couple goes through. We'll grow out of it, right?

First day sucks.

2009-11-03T15:49:00.001+08:00

First day of second semester and I wasn’t all that thrilled. I have a very good schedule but my friend won’t be with me for the whole sem. I bet we won’t even be able to say hi at Tuesdays and Thursdays.

I guess this is one way of learning to stand on my own – being with different kinds of people and exploring each and everyone’s differences and similarities. I won’t be with the same group of people my whole life, right? So this is a good chance to mingle with others.

No class on Thursday because.... it’s Negros Day! No PE yet. And I’m going to watch 500 Days of Summer alone. Wow. For the first time after 8 months, I’m going to watch a movie alone. I’m so psyched!

And I'll list down my top five "must do" this semester.

1. No skipping of classes (unless I'm not feeling well or such).

2. No grade below 85 (I'll try as hard as I can to land a place in the dean's list).

3. No smoking (I've never smoked, and never will).

4. No procrastinating.

5. Join activities.

So true. :)

2009-11-02T12:54:00.000+08:00

Your view on yourself:

You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:

Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.

Your views on education

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:

You have many goals and want to achieve as much as you can. The jobs you enjoy are those that let you burn off your considerable excess energy.

How do you view success:

You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.

Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

Finally!

2009-10-30T22:32:00.002+08:00

Finally, I'm enrolled. And I have the best schedule ever, I mean, compared to my classmates who got 7:30 am classes. I only have 7:30 am classes on Wednesdays and Fridays since I couldn't seem to find any schedule that wouldn't have any conflicts with my other subjects. So I had to stick with Gensci2 under BSCS2A. Too bad though, BSCS2A has different RS4 schedules. We didn't have RS4 reserved for our section. So we really had to choose from reserved RS4 of the other courses. I got mine under ABPO (what the hell?) and thank God my friend Stephanie chose the same schedule for her RS4 which is MWF 9:30-10:30. While I moved my Filipino at TTH (still) from 7:30am to 9:30 am. Better, right?

Finally, grades are released online! There are still two subjects with NO GRADE posted but the remaining 7 subjects have posted my grades and I was more than happy with the result. I was really expecting to fail at my major JAVA Programming Language (CSM_106). I certainly am aware that I didn't do well at that subject. I tried my best to understand it and do better at exams, but I always felt like I wasn't doing enough. I was always expecting that my grades in prelim and midterm was 75 or something. I am really really glad I got an 80. :) I know some would say it's still low, but with Sir Tan, 80 is really really okay for us. God gave me more than enough. Guess, I have to do better this second sem and land a place at the dean's list.

Finally, I have come to a delimma whether to tell mom or not about me having a boyfriend for almost 8 months now. I made a promise to God, to my cousins and to myself that if ever I pass this subject, I'll have the courage to tell mom about us. I have good grades (no, better), I'm being responsible and all and... just good things! I need to write down the pros and cons. Let me hear yours!

Finally, my site (http://www.koryanangpinay.com) was fixed. Thank you, Lois! I love you to death. I'm kind of enjoying here at koreanadoll.blogspot.com but I guess I need to go back to my KP since sweet Lois is paying for it and I need to give something back to her. SERIOUSLY! I'm more than appreciative of what she's doing for me. But I guess koryanangpinay.com will only post showbiz stuffs, random articles and etc except for my day to day rantings. I'm keeping my rantings here at koreanadoll.blogspot.com. So please, smother me with comments.

The Time Traveler's Wife

2009-10-29T11:06:00.000+08:00

I was really thrilled to see The Time Traveler's Wife yesterday with Manuel. I've been really waiting to watch it because I am a great fan of Rachel McAdams and Eric Bana.

[OMG, don't you think Eric Bana's the hottest? I mean, come on. He really looks "kingly" and "splendid".]

But I was kind of disappointed to find the movie very confusing. HAHA! I wasn't able to understand some parts, or maybe my concentration was just divided into two? *sly smile* But it was really really great. For those of you who have read the book, the movie was.. (yes, as usual, not really exact) but it was better compared to the movies they made like A Walk To Remember (which was also based from the book). Somehow, they've captured what really the role is of a time traveler's wife.

Not really bad at all. I just didn't quite understand it. :D

Locking In

2009-10-28T11:56:00.000+08:00

Today's enrollment day for sophomores at Lasalle. Since Mom's busy schedule's on the way for her to pay my tuition fee, I found myself falling into a line, waiting to get a number for the cashier, and sitting with some other people who were also waiting for their turn to hand out their payments. :\ Thank goodness, I saw my classmate and she tagged along with me, so it wasn't all that boring.

DILEMMA. Most of my classmates showed up and everyone was ranting about our RS4 schedule since we couldn't find any schedule for our course/class. We all went to the department chairperson of ComSci and he checked it out and he said he will request for a sched and we can reserve our subjects completely later this day and enroll ourselves. Thank goodness! Another dilemma (for me) would be the BSCS2A's schedule. Come on, a regular student will have a 7:30am class for MWF and 8:30 for TTH. ~~Whatda-!~~ Who would be able to get up in that hour? Definitely, ~~NOT ME.~~ I mean, come on? Whole first sem of my second year, I wake up at 11am to get to my 12:30pm class. WHOLE SEM I WAKE UP AT 11AM. And suddenly, I change my cuckatoo schedule and wake up at.. what, 6AM? Oh no, no, no, no. NO!

I'm thinking of rescheduling it and be an irregular at Fil2 and GS2. It's really really early and I have to pick another schedules for it. And also, RS4.

Oh well, I'll be back on Friday to finalize things out and officially enroll myself.

SEVEN and COUNTING

2009-10-27T11:40:00.005+08:00

It's the 27th day of the month yet again and now is our 7th month of togetherness! I couldn't be more happier. I wake up everyday contented of what I have and what surrounds me. It feels like I have everything I need right here. I've been bombed by problems and oftentimes, I would wish I vanish into thin air. But his love makes me strong and his hugs assure me that everything will be all right.

I don't know when or if this feeling will ever end, but right now, I just want to make every moment with him memorable and full of happiness and love. If I'll have my way, I would choose to be with him forever and no one else. I have fallen in love so much more than I said I would and for the first time ever in my whole life, I've never felt any regrets.

Today is also the 6th year of my service to the Lord. I was in sixth grade when I first made my promise to Him. I've been through ups and downs and God was with me all the time. I couldn't thank Him enough for that.

What amazes me was the fact that why our monthsary fell on the same day I received the Lord. Isn't this a match made in heaven? *SMILES*

Happy 7th monthsary to us!

Tell Me About It

2009-10-26T12:37:00.003+08:00

Okaaayy, so I hate Lasalle's online grades. I can't see anything. It only displays, "Student inquiry disabled." Wow, how great is that? But my other classmates could check their grades online, why couldn't I?

Anyway, I'm gonna get my advise slip tomorrow so I could just reserve my subjects online and choose better schedules and classes without having behinds or advances. *I wonder if I passed my 106 major.* Oh please, I don't want to have any failures.

Btw, I cut my hair shorter. :) And indeed, regret comes last. I missed my long hair, but Mom told me I look better in short. *Yeah, she's just trying to make me feel better.* Boyfriend wants to see my short hair already, but his schedule's full so lately, so he just have to wait till he grabs some vacant time. Maybe, by the time he grabs one, my hair grew longer already! Haha!

Look at me now >>>
Don't I look stupid and all? Seemed like I looked much much younger now. Hahahaha. Darn it. Long hair made me look matured and attractive (I guess). But change is good, right? I needed to change somehow. Even just physically, much better if I'll also change mentally and emotionally... I mean, more matured. :)

So tell me about it.

Spell PROBLEMS.

2007-02-28T20:59:00.001+08:00

I'm having lots of problems nowadays. I'm running for the position of a secretary for our SGO and i don't think im gonna win. They told me that it'll be 50% for my opponent and 50% for me.

Wah, i wanna win. I've wanted this position ever since in entered high school. It's just that i don't have any guts to try it out.

Whenever she speaks at her speech, she always say that she got experiences compare than me.
Thank you. One girl said, when will 'Kim' have an experience if we won't vote her?

Haayy...

I'm hopeless.

Till next time.

Saranghae!

Happy New Year

2007-01-01T13:31:00.000+08:00

The first day of 2007 huh?
This'll gonna be my first post this year. ^_^ I hope this year will get better for me. Year 2006 wasn't very good. My life's in a mess. Too many decisions were made and what results did it bring me? Well, if not to make my life bad, it made worse. But who will I to blame? No one except myself.
Okay, so let's review 2006 happenings.

_____.x

1. I was addicted to the internet.
2. I transfered school [back to where I was last 2004-2005]
3. I loved koreanovelas.
4. I've got so many problems and include letting go of him, finding new love and failing at my subjects.
5. I don't know how to fix my life as what it was a few years ago.
6. I found God again.
7. And I promised, I won't let go.

Happy New Year!!!

Christmas Break

2006-12-26T19:52:00.001+08:00

Woohh!

Exams were over since last week. I breathe in for a while. Hah!
I spent my christmas at cagayan de oro city with my cousins. Oohh, love the cds!
Im addicted right now to korean movies and tv series. [can't deny the heritage]

My cousin gave me a gift certificate worth P2000 as a Christmas Gift. Bleh.
Then my mom gave P1500. I bought some cds. Though the cds are not that new.

I'll buy next time when I get back there again. Its still good to know that i don't have to buy 16 cds of it. LOL.

I bought, My Girl, Full House, Princess Hours and Hotelier. Is it good? Heehee.

[currently addicted to Goong] ^_^

And yeah, bout lovelife.

He gave me something. Yeh, jewelries baby!!

He's rich? Nah. He's just saving. Hahahaha! Il post the pic some other time.

And, to my surprise, to our suprise, my stupid cousin came to celebrate with us.
He just brought headaches to us.
But then, my cousin's still cute. ^_~

Till here.

Kurisumasu jal bonaesaeyo!

Advance Happy New Year!!! ..mwah..

Seasons of Fireworks

2006-11-22T17:00:00.000+08:00

Hmm, last night was the best-est night for me.
We were at the ferris wheel when the fireworks' display started.
Yup, Kie [kai] and me.
The ferris wheel stopped. (siguro nakitingin din yung operator - bwahaha)
We were at the top and the sight was very clear.
We couldn't stop saying 'woow'.
I didn't notice that he was looking at me until I looked at him on my side.
He just smiled and I smiled back.
Then I held his hand. (Mahiyain yun e)
He looked at my hands holding his.
Then he smiled tas tinaas niya yung kamay naming dalawa.
I felt my face blushed. (nakita niya kaya?)

Then he held my hand tighter na parang he won't let go of me.
30 minutes sigurong kaming nakatingin dun sa fireworks sa itaas sa loob ng ferris wheel.
I wished that time would never stop.

The guy I've been dreaming of for 3 years was right there beside me holding my hands under the fireworks.

Everything was just so perfect. But then, it has to end.

Nung bumaba kami sa ferris wheel, my friends were down there.
And yun, tuksuhan na. But wala lang. Di na namin pinansin.
We went home past 12, mga 1 siguro in the morning.

Then nung pumasok ako sa bahay, he texted me.

Kie

Best night ever. Thanks. :*

Kilig to the bones naman ang lola niyo. Wahihihi. ^_^

Till here, Ill keep you updated if there'll be any progress between the two of us.

The Goddess Of the Witch Forum

2006-11-19T12:21:00.001+08:00

I used to call her 'goddess of the forum' because of her gorgeous beauty. She was one of the few 'ates' in the board and she got one of most prettiest faces in there. The first time I saw her pic, i told myself why can't i be like her? She's lovely, talented, nice and very friendly. We're not that close but she's always the first one to post at my threads in "This is Me" section. And I would always thank her for that.

I even remember chatting at her in the middle of the night. We talked about our illness. Leukemia. I asked her about her baby and all. She even told me she engaged herself into drugs when she was young and all that stuffs. Then she told me, she got leukemia. I was shocked because when I was young, I had a friend named Anabel who died of leukemia too. I told her about my friend and she said that at least, God stopped her suffering. She even said that what saddened her the most was that she won't be able to see her daughter grow up into a lady.

After some months, she stopped posting at the forum. She told us that she's in the hospital curing her illness. We prayed and hoped that she'll be alright. And she was. God answered our prayers. But then on, after some months again, she stopped posting coz she told us that her fiance will bring the loppy at some place.

Then one night, Ate Denise posted teh email she recieved from her. It said that she suddenly became weak and will spent the remaining days of her life at the hospital. I was shocked. I thought she recovered already. But I was wrong. I know all the witchies prayed for her recovery. And I did. I prayed to God to help her and make her see that God is good. I prayed to God that if she hasn't received Him yet as her personal savior, please make the Holy Spirit moved her and convict her. So that someday, we'll see each other in Your Kingdom.

God took her away last Tuesday at around 7 pm of the evening. I know God had a purpose in taking her away from us. No, He didn't take her AWAY from us. She'll always be here inside our hearts. I know it.

Ate Joie, you're gone, but the memories you left will always be in our hearts. You will always be remembered as the 'goddess of the forum', a friend, an ate and a sister to us all.

Thank you so much for everything.

You are truly a beautiful butterfly who passed by our lives and touched us with magic.

The Writer Writes

2006-11-11T14:53:00.000+08:00

Many people said that Im a great writer. They told me that my stories can leave marks at their brains and hearts. There's this girl who asked me,

"where do you get ideas to write your stories?"

I just smiled and answered her.

"From here." I pointed my heart to her.

She just smiled and went away. My teacher told me that I inspire other people by my stories. Im very glad that i inspire people just by doing simple things. Its really a good feeling. ^_^

Ill promise that I'll do my very best to keep inspiring those people. I really thank God for this wonderful gift/talent He had given me.
I know I'm not the best, but I know that i'll always be the best at His eyes. And I know as time passes by, i will have some progress. hahaha.

Au revoir people.

Self-Pity

2006-11-05T14:21:00.000+08:00

Whenever I see my cousin walking towards me and looking at my whole self, i feel creeps all over my body. And I really know why.

I see my cousin as a perfectionist. She wants everyone to hear her opinions before making the move. And since I was young, she dominated my entire life - until now. She's a faddist. She always conforms to the world. To the latest. Everything.

And she always have me to tease around and to correct to. And because of her, i developed insecurities. Insecurities that I think I won't be able to let go of easily. I lost my confidence whenever Im with the family.

Sometimes I would just stay in my room and sulk myself. I would always tell myself that you're ugly, stubborn, stupid, and any words that would just hurt myself. Now maybe, this is what we call 'self-pity'. I pity myself for not being so pretty, for not being so smart, so tall and socially accepted.

Not now, when I accepted Jesus Christ. Im contented in what He gave me. As the saying says 'you make the most out of the materials given to you'. She tried to persecute me about my Savior. She told me that I'm "ningas-kugon". She told me that "as if ah." But I rejoice for it. I now see that I'm in God. I know that I'll always respect her and will always pray for her, my cousin will always be my cousin, except if the Lord God will move and change her into somebody.

Praise the Lord

2006-10-31T16:40:00.000+08:00

Wow, I'm really in the mood to tell the whole world about Christ and how He helped me with my life.
I grew up in a Christian family. Altho they were Christians, I saw that Christ was not really IN them. I've witnessed my cousins who were baptized, later, they'll be back at their old habits. I thought I accepted Christ a long time ago, and I did. I was a freshman at highschool when I accepted Him. My friend melissa, was motivating me. She's the one I talk to whenever I got problems that concerned about my spiritual status. And she helped me a lot.
When I was in second year, my Mom decided to transfer me at Bacolod City. I studied at a Catholic School. (When I was in grade 3 to first year, i studied at a Christian school). I don't know what happened but I felt my relationship with God was broken. I prayed a lot at our prayer house, but I don't know, God hadn't answered my prayers(or so I think).
I've struggled many times. There were times when I say to myself, God left me. But He didn't. I decided to go back to my former school (Im a junior now). The first 3 months were very difficult. Honor stuffs, blending with people again, you know. Honestly, I studied hard, but still I got the 6th honor. I asked, why? I was faithful to Him. I asked myself again, where art thou?
Then, October 27-31, 2006, I went to the camp that was held by the school. My motive was just to have fun and learn to be independent. It was boring because some of my classmates didn't go with us. The theme was "Live For Jesus". The topic was "Purity".
How can a young person stay pure?
It talked about lust, sexual sins, etc. Just thinking bout those stuffs (dirty stuffs), you make a sin. I was horrified. I said to myself, I am a very sinful creature. Dun ko naintindihan talaga that God is so pure and I am very impure. God is so holy and i am a very sinful person. Hinde ko alam kung pano at ano ang nangyari, i cried. I really cried na sobrang grabe yung guilt na naramdaman ko. Naisip ko, hinde naman talaga kelangan ni Christ magpakamatay satin e, to think of na makasalanan tayo, pero He still did - because He loves us. Tapos naisip ko, sa ginawa ni Christ, bakit mahirap satin na ioffer ang lives natin saKanya - when He did without hesitation? I really cried hard. tapos nagbigay ng testimony yung friend ko. I cried again. Sobrang the Holy Spirit was working on us talaga - that time. October 30, 2006, I really said to myself that I understood everything and accepted Christ as my Lord and Savior. Kanina, before we went home, I gave a testimony, yun nga lang, kapag umiiyak na ako, hinde na ako makapagsalita, kaya maikli lang masyado.
I really praise God.
Siguro kaya niya ako binalik dito sa lugar na to because He wanted me to know the good news. He wanted me to see and hear the truth.
And because God gave me grace, I will share my faith to others. That's one way of repaying Him the goodness He has done to my life.
Pls pray for my father. Please help me pray for my father to accept Christ as his Lord and Savior.
Pls pray for my mother. Help me pray for my mother to be devoted to God's words. Even tho she's a Christian, I want her to be holy in all ways just like God. Because God said, "Be Holy for I am Holy."
Guys, salvation is free gift of God to all. No matter you're a murderer, a kidnapper, a bomber or how sinful you are, God is always there for us. I know it. I really know it. He will never ever leave us. Yung problem lang naman is the people e, they're the ones na tinatalikuran yung God. Just repent and accept Him and all these things shall be added unto you. And it includes eternal life. ;)

The Regional On-The-Spot Essay Writing Contest

2006-10-17T16:47:00.000+08:00

Well, its October 17, 2006 right? We went to Cotabato City with my coach. We arrived at the venue 30 minutes before the contest started. I don't know if I'll win, but I know that I won't forget the experience and the feeling.

Im too good.. - not to MESS things up!

2006-10-14T17:39:00.000+08:00

Im going to the Essay Regional Contest this coming Tuesday. And this week is our exam week. I don't know what to do since I think I'll flunk at my Geometry subject. I have to study hard and competition inside the room really stinks. I really don't know what to do. Plus that essay thingy in my way, I can't concentrate. Just thinking about the essay and the exams, I feel like I'm going to burst. The essay is about "Pinoy Youth Empowerment for Health and Development". 800-1000 words. I'm not that smart to compose an essay like that. Really, I'm not.

I might even die there. Nowadays, bomb are really on the track.

The Kim Now or The Kim Before

2006-10-05T19:45:00.000+08:00

People told me I've changed. Haven't I? I'm not sure. I'm not really sure about it.My friend told me that my classmates said that they want the "Kim" back when we were in first year. I don't understand. I really don't understand. What are my changes anyway? They told me that i became "suplada". I don't think so. When we were in first year, yeah, i was damn so "suplada". And i think i've changed this 3rd year. Not the superlative. I think i've become nicer to people. But they misunderstood it. Maybe its better to just stay the way you are. But.. is it really possible?
What bugs me the most is that they're saying that i've changed, but will they judge themselves first? I know its for the benefit of me(i don't want growing up while people are hating me), and when i ask them what are the changes, they would tell me "basta" and that really irritates me.
Okay, I accept it. I'm kinda suplada and everything. But when you get to know me better, I'm not. (Maybe this is what you get when you got chinky eyes) Maybe nasanay lang sila that I was branded a "suplada". But can't they look to the bright side? I mean, hinde pa nga kami close they're telling this and that na.
And I asked my friend awhile ago, why aren't the boys in the class go home with them anymore(since nung 2nd yr sila, they all go home together). She answered me that "nahihiya sila sa iyo". What the-?! Why? I'm not even kidding them around because I'm afraid that they will tell me this and that. I don't really understand why. I really don't.
Then another thing, my friend. I mean, another close friend. They said that she changed too because of me. I'm not even doing anything. They said that she doesn't go with them anymore. They said that she became "suplada". And the reason is me.
Okay. I don't get it. I think its not only because of me. Am i her only friend? Nope. We got friends who're I dunno. Some kind of teasers. I tried to reach out to them last June and July, but i just couldn't. How can i reach them when they're running away from me? And I'm just very careful about opening myself to them. I don't trust people easily. Just a little slip out and you're dead. That'll be the headlines of the schoolpaper. Some of them aren't even worth trusted. Especially those two girls who are close with the guys. I just couldnt.
About the thing that she doesn't go with them anymore. I have nothing to do with that. Am i telling her that she can't go with you anymore? Nope. I'm not. About the thing that she became "suplada". I have nothing to do with that. Nothin.
They're sayign like, I'm the reason of all these.
*The not going home together with the boys.*The division of everyone in the class.*The becoming "suplada" of my friend.
I asked them what made them said that. They would answer me like "i don't know." How will i change and watch out my attitude if in the first place, i don't even know where to start changing?
It really sucks. I thought going "home" will be the greatest decision me and my mom ever made. But I think not. Starting tomorrow, I'll try to make them see that I'm not what they think they are. I just have to. Its a big must.

Afraid?ERr..Not!

2006-09-30T16:54:00.000+08:00

My teacher informed me that I will be battling with others on the essay writing regionally. Diba i won second place? Since the winner was a moslem and they're having their ramadan, he can't go to Cotabato City. The Municipal called our school to ask if i'm a junior and to give the criterias to me. I'm really not ready and the essay's on October 17, i think. Whew. Im really busy nowadays. *crosses fingers* pray for me.. please!

Pain in my legs

2006-09-23T20:16:00.000+08:00

8 am, i went home from the training. I felt the urge to go to the bathromm and have some waste elimination. LOL.

I couln't walk. Huhuhu. I mean, i can still walk, but it really hurts. Really. I feel like my legs became a stone. HUHUHU.

I don't want to quit in that CAt thingy. Not yet.

Military Training

2006-09-23T13:06:00.000+08:00

We just had our second training for the CAT. Gawsh, it was so tiring. We jogged around the town. Huhuhu.

Wish i never entered that stupid CAT thingy. I felt my body was crushed into pieces. Then we crawled at the ground(i mean muddy ground). Huhuhu. Enzo pulled me up. My jogging pants went down. LOL. Glad i had shorts in there. Stupid, stupid. They'll make fun of me on Monday. HAHA.

Wahh, i want to quit. But i can't. I'm gonna be an officer next year. Pay off man! Yeah! Hope the school directress won't get the CAT thingy at the school.

PAY OFF!

Letting Go

2006-09-19T12:46:00.000+08:00

I know i should. And I did. If i won't, i'll find myself falling in love with him. And i just couldn't. Not now. And maybe, not ever. So, as early as possible, i should build a wall between us. I really should. I know he wouldn't understand why i suddenly decided about it. But that was for the good of the both of us. I should stop things - NOW.

The Issue Of Virginity

2006-09-18T19:32:00.000+08:00

The Issue of Virginity

Maria Clara is dead. And women have changed and continue to change. We are in the 20th century and transformations in their acts and convictions are expected. All throughout the world, women have learned to empower themselves.
Although we are in what we call “modern” times, there’s still an issue that many still debate over. In the past, it is regarded as extremely important, but as society changed, perceptions about the matter also became different. This is the issue of virginity.
According to some people, many of the Filipino girls still hold conservative attitudes towards virginity and premarital sex.
Filipinos are wary of getting into sexual relationships because of the fact that the Filipino society still puts such a high premium on virginity. Virgins are considered as pure and clean while non virgins are belittled.
Many non virgins choose not to admit that they have had sexual relationships because they will be branded as “pokpok” or easy lay, “laspag” or worn out due to sexual overuse, “kiri or landi” which means slut and other derogatory names.
Many of the men want to marry a virgin woman and non virgin are left alone wondering how their husbands will accept the fact that there’s a man before them.

Just an inquiry: why does the society glorify men who sleeps around and degrade women who do the same? And all of us say we advocate equality!

If you think that non virgins are the only ones who are subjected o embarrassment, then you are making a big mistake. The stigma goes to both ways.
True, society urges women to stay chaste until their wedding day. However, other social factors affect their sexual behavior.
Simply look at the idols of the current generation and you will see that sexual liberation is at its peak. Everyday sex is discussed on TV, print and radio. Whether we admit it or not, the once hush-hush issue is now a very common topic.
Whether they stick to the moral standards set by society by being a virgin or break the norms by giving it up early, Filipino women will be subjected to stereotypes.If they give it up to a guy whom they aren’t sure they’ll end up with but love nevertheless, they will be called sluts. If they choose to give importance to traditions and conventions, they will be called prudes.
Staying a virgin does not assure women that the person they will marry will be loyal to them. That “piece of flesh” or badge of chastity does not assure a successful marriage.
On the other side, giving it up to someone before marriage can not also assure them that the guy will eventually marry them. It doesn’t also mean that when they give it up, the guy will love them even more.
In the end, virginity shouldn’t be based on what other people think or feel is right. It should be a personal choice. It should always be the women’s choice. It is both a privilege and a responsibility.
So let women decide on their own. If they fail, they will suffer the consequences, that’s true, they will find a way to survive. This is simply because the women of today have been educated and prepared to deal with life. Like age-old beliefs and perspectives, virginity should never ever be imposed.

Concerteriffic

2006-09-09T14:11:00.000+08:00

Well, i'm in choir and its a tradition in our school to have a concert by September and a Christmas concert on December. And last night, we just had our September concert. It was fun because, well, its fun. Harhar. A lot of things happened that night.

BLOOPERS!!!

i ate an insect. Don't know what kind of insect was that. LOL. I was in the stage and i was standing in the center with the other choir members singing "Great Divide" when i felt an insect flew unto my mouth. I hurriedly held my mouth with my hands. But i couldn't get it. I suddenly felt that the insect went in my mouth. I couldn't move and get it because i'm in the middle of the song. So i just left it in my mouth. (how gross) After singing, i hurriedly went into my chair, got my bag and went into the cr. I looked up my mouth, gargle some water and wwooossh. I asked my friends if they saw me spitting out the insect at the stage, they told me na "wala ah." So okay. That was it.

GREAT NIGHT >o<

We were sitting with my friend under the tree since my friend Alexa was talking with her so-called boyfriend Jeff and Hannah talking with her so-called ex, Dan. So we sat silently beside them when we saw Hazel and Dandelo sitting ryt beside us. Then we were like teasing them. Suddenly, Hazel stood up because its time for them to sing. Dandelo was left alone. So we chatted with him for awhile. He's a good chatter. Haha. We had some laughs. Then Icer came over. I saw him walked towards us. But I didn't expect that he would sit with us. So there. He sat with us. Then we talked about just anything else. As I said, Dandelo was a great chatter. But Icer? He's so (what's the english word for suplado?) LOL. He's not good at chatting - with us. Then, enter some of their friends. We really had a good time. Dandelo came to a conclusion: "Hindi naman pala sila mga suplada no? Saya rin naman pala nilang kausap."

So we were like - what?! Us?! Suplada? NO way. I mean yes way. LOL. We are, if you will just look at us, but if you'll try to have a chat with us, we're not. We're sweet little girls. LOL.

After the concert, i hurriedly went home. My Aunt fetched me up. I mean duh? Why wouldn't she? Its raining. I don't want to go home all alone. Besides, its kinda dangerous. So there, when i was in the car, i saw Icer, Gliceria and Grace in a motorcycle. Icer's driving it. Weird. LOL. I noticed that they spend some time together now. Are they in a relationship? Oh.. Who cares anyway? Harhar.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Another thing, before i forget. Somebody asked me, what's a blog anyway? I told him that blog is like an online diary. The only difference is everyone reads it. Then that somebody asked me again, does everybody have to really know what's happening in your life every single day?

I paused and thought for a minute or so. Nice question. Well, i think yeah. Its in you, if you want them to know about it. Sometimes blogging is really helpful when you just want to let our your feelings. And sometimes, others know you more because of that.

Thank you.

LOL.

Till here.

Ta-ta.

Not That Lucky

2006-09-02T20:57:00.000+08:00

Not very luck eh?

Yepyep. Not so lucky!

Unlucky things that happened to me:

*pimple in my face(big)
*rank 6th at the honor list
*got embarassed at the front of my crush(you don't wanna know it)

Lucky thing:

*My crush texted me

My life is a total mess. how can i face my problem if the problem is my face? Well, not really my face, its just a VERY BIG pimple.

I look like Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo noh? LOL.

Its the first time i got a pimple. Maybe its enjoying, for the fact that its the first.

They're making fun of me.. HUHUHU>>>!!!

Second, i'm rank 6th in our honor list! Bull! How can that be?! Now, i don't know what to do. I'm really trying hard to find out how can i tell it to my mother.

help me!!!

Third, my name was dirtied. There's this "chismis" that i've been back biting "daw" that girl named kristine tanes! BULL! So what? I mean, yeah. She's one of our topics from time to time. But its not really of a big deal. I don't know why the seniors make it a very big deal. I don't understand them when they're the ones who told us that girl is a flirt!

Closed topic.

And yeah, my crush texted me.

That was so very funny!

My friends missed call him using my number. Then he replied later that night.

Him: Helo. Hi.
Me: Do i know u?
Him: I dunno. Do i know u?
Me: I dunno.
Him: Magkaalaman tayo. Name,age,gender and skul.
Me:Cindy Yap, 15, Davao, female, ateneo de davao. U?
Him: *****,15,king's college.

I was like? hey wait?! Is this really him? i hurriedly texted my friend to know if the guy is really him.

my friend said yes.

Me: Ahhh...

I was really playing that i'm a girl from davao city when he suddenly said.

You got a big pimple ba.

I was like- huh?! How did he know?

Me: Huh? I mean.. are you *****? As in *****?! Wait... beulah?! Gina gago mo ko?
Him: YUp, this is really me.. if you want i can call you pa.
Me: ayy... sge..

That night was one of the best nights of my life..At long last, my TM sim has now got a purpose.

LOL.

What a Plan

2006-08-28T19:43:00.000+08:00

Yep! My friend and I made a plan to make that bitch scream for her life.

Haha. LOL. So-so exaggerated.

I'll tell you the story first so you'll get the idea why we planned this plan. LOL.

Once upon a time, in a far far away land... LOL.

Okay. Serioudly. Here's the story.

This guy is my friend.. well, he got a girlfriend a few months ago and she's a certified bitch.

*thinks and looks at the computer*

How will a guy like him fell for that kind of girl?

*shakes moi head*

Well, at first, my friend and his other friend planned to make a deal out of her. He's going to court her and if she'll answer her in 3 days, there'll be a big punishment for his other friend.

And yeah, as an easy-to-get kind of girl, she answered him within 3 days. What was a game became a serious loving thing.

My friend fell in love with her. What we didn't know was that the girl and her friends were having a deal too with him.

She two timed him. And the other guy is my ex crush - John! I had nothing to do with them, but she asked me something and threw words upon me.

Bitch: Kim, naging kayo ni John?
Me: Bakit?
Bitch: Kami na, so that only means na magkalevel lang tayo.
Me: 0_0 excuse me?
Bitch: Magkalevel lang tayo dahil niligawan niya din ako.
Me: 0_o excse me. I think ur barking in a wrong tree. Hindi tayo magkalevel no. Alam mo kung bakit? kasi hindi ko sinagot si John kasi alam kong wala akong mapapala sa lalaking yun. Tsaka, hell-o? Hindi ako easy to get at two timer no. Kaya kung ihahalimbawa tayo, ako yung everest, ikaw yung taal.
Bitch: 0_0

She just stormed away. LOL. She's really a flirt.

My friend acted as a blind in all she's doing. He acted as a deaf to all the stories others say to him. But he had enough when she really did that in front of him - and his friends.

She broke up with him saying,

"We're over. All of these are just because of a deal. I don't love you. At bakit ko sinasabi to sa inyong lahat? Kasi gusto kong malaman niyo, na ako ang nakipagbreak sa kanya at hindi siya yung nakipagbreak sakin."

After what she said, she went home. We were left speechless. My friend said, its nothing. But we knew what he felt that time. Shut Up! I could kill her.

And hell-o?! She's only a freshman. Wag ka nga siya magpakita ng tunay niyang kulay! Baka mapatay siya namin. LOL.

Now here's the plan.

We learned that she really fell in love with my friend but she's just shy to say it and she's got a boifriend already. And since we wanted revenge, we made this plan.

He'll act as if he's courting me. But my bestfriends have no idea about this. So(sshhhhss).

We'll make her jealous to her nerves and when she wants to go back to him, he'll do the same thing, dump her in front of his friends and her friends.

LOL >0<

We're evil. Well, the plan is working so far. LOL.

I'll be Missing You

2006-08-26T21:00:00.000+08:00

My girl ended already last Thursday. I'm gonna miss Dong Wook Oppa, Jun Ki Oppa and other characters.

It was nice. I really recommend that series to all who wants a funny and at the same time dramatic tv drama.

Nahalata ko lang sa mga korean telenovelas, habang tumatagal, lalong gumaganda yung takbo ng story.

While sa mga filipinos, habang tumatagal, lalong pumapangit ang story.

LOL.

Till here. Still not feeling well.

Doing Great

2006-08-25T19:15:00.000+08:00

Everybody thinks i'm doing great in everything. But they don't have any idea what i'm going through all these times.

Do you really wanna know what i'm feeling right now?

Nothing. Completely blank.

I'm typing out of nothing. I'm typing because i just felt i love it. I'm typing because i want to.

This is just another day of my life. Another typical day. Another usual day of my empty life.

I want to say i'm really doing great. But i just couldn't. I want to lie to myself that i'm okay. But i know i'm not.

Lies are just another part of my life. I've been good in that. Sometimes, i consider it as my talent.

But you know what bugs me everyday of my life?

Its when i sleep every night, that evrything's flashed through my mind. Its when i sleep at night that i learn to know that i can lie to the world, but not to myself.

Sometimes, i really want to be just "myself."

I want those people with great expectations to me disappear at my very eyes. I want all people to accept me as what i simply am. I want the world to see me differently.

But i know that'll not gonna happen.

I'm really feeling nothing today. Not happy, sad nor jealous.

I know at this very night again, when i'm about to sleep at my bed all alone, i'm gonna break down and cry. :(

It Started With A Game

2006-08-23T18:50:00.000+08:00

Remember the guy from my post? "A Nice Play with A-Not-So-Cooperative Player"

Yeah...well... i don't know what's up with thim and his friends.

*flashback*

It was breaktime. We were sitting at the canteen with my friends. At the other corner, him and his friends.

He went to buy and i heard his friends say 'nahiya pa kasi'.

So, he went to buy something.Then my friend Alexa said, 'Hi Eicer, si Kim o.'

I felt my face blushed. Pero of course, act lang ako na parang wala lang. I saw him smile.. as in like this o... ^___________^

LOL.

I just lowered my head. LOL. Torpe me. ^__^

Then he just said 'hi' with that big smile on his face. His friend Dandelu said 'may sinabi sakin si Eicer..'

Alexa: Ano?
Dandelu: Secret. ^_______^

Secret secret pa.. hmp! LOL.

After that, they started teasing us. NAKS. >o<

And this afternoon, we sat at the canteen na naman. They we're at the field, nakaupo sa goal ng footsal. Alexa said 'uyy... pasulyap-sulyap sila dito o.'

^______________^

Lol. Sooooooo what? Asus... :P

Alexa: I really think he likes you.
Me: Duh... he would never like a girl like me.
Alexa: Let's see.. HAAHAHAHA>>>

And then i saw them walked going to the canteen. They sat at the other end. Alexa and some of my classmates were buying some foods and malapit sila dun.

Alexa: Hi Eicer. Hi EICER! Si Kim o.

^_______________^ --> yan na naman daw yung smile ni fafa Eicer.

Aba! Inemphasize pa yung EICER.

Tumawa-tawa lang kami ni Beulah as if wala lang.

Then after some few minutes, umalis narin sila. Sabi nila late na daw so they have to go home.

Alexa: Bye EICER!

Nagbbye naman daw siya. Pero di na namin pinansin.

Then, malayo-layo na sila ng sumigaw si Dandelu.

Dandelu: Eicer, babye na kay Kim! Kim, babye man kay Eicer ay!

Putragis! Hehe.

Kakahiya. tease-tease again.

Nyahaha. LOL ^_____________________^

And it all started with a game. Specifically, badminton game.

Teehee.

^_________^

Can This Be LOve?

2006-08-22T19:16:00.000+08:00

Ooohhh...

What a question!

Well, here's the story.

I've been liking this guy for almost hmmm.. a month now? or maybe just these few days. Lol.

He's from another school so i don't get to see him everyday. But still, we text each other almost everyday and he's one of the reason kung bakit ako nagpapaunli. LOL.

>o<

He's not your typical hottie. He's not my usual type. He's not that cute nor handsome. He's not that smart. In short, he's your average boy.

And that's what makes me laugh.

How could i've fallen with a boy like him? That only means, i liked him not because of his physical appearance but because of his characteristics.

Now that's very unusual. LOL.

I'm really ashamed to tell this to my bestfriends. Well, they'll just criticize me. Haha.

I'm keeping this to myself and telling this to you. (yeah, you!)

So do you think i'm falling in love again? Woah. LOL >*<

I really don't know what to do. Haha.

Maybe i'm insane or something. Hmm, out of my mind? No way!!

I really can't fall in love with him.

Not now.

Not ever.

Or maybe next week? LOL.

Hope, he'll never read this. This sounds like a bull. Haha. XD.

Give me some comments about this. I'm really mixed up.

A Nice Play with A-Not-So-Cooperative Partner

2006-08-19T20:40:00.000+08:00

Field Day (Aug 17-18-19)

I played badminton - doubles(women's), single(women's), mixed doubles.

Now what's funny was my partner was such a suplado guy. He is a senior and I'm a junior. In a 30-minute play, we never ever talked to each other. The officiator which was Miss Janice was saying "hey, usap naman kayo. ang quiet niyo masyado" stuffs. I didn't want to be teased with him coz he's such a snob, so i just played my game without even cooperating with him, and hin without cooperating with me.

I really think there's a problem with him. But it was quite a fun game.

Eicer: Sorry.
Kim: Ha? ( i asked as if i didn't hear what he said)
Eicer: Wala ah.

Suplado gid ah.

Eicer: sorry.
Kim: kei lang ah.
Miss J: hmm, usap-usap naman kayo o. Super quiet niyo. Nakakabingi na.
Kim: Just leave us alone.

He just smiled.

He's good at playing badminton. Naks mag kill ng shuttlecock.

Its just that we were not comfortable with each other. Too bad. We lost that one.

But we won at the second game.

Not boasting, but i think i'm the one making up the scores.

Such a jerk.

He'd been liking that freshman. Like ugh! He's a senior. Hell - o?

Whatever.

Still looking forward at playing with him.

Minus the snob parts.

Teehee - Teehee.

Undescribable

2006-08-12T12:03:00.000+08:00

i just learned that he got a gf already.

and well, no pain left in my heart.

i can really say that.

**FLasH Back**

"KIm! San dito bahay ni Aimee?"
"Aimee what?"
"Le******."
"Ahh.. dun sa yellow na gate."
"Sige, thanks."

**END***

I mean pumunta siya sa bahay para itanong kung san bahay ng babaeng yun.

Monday morning, i asked his friend who was with him when he went to asked me kung san bahay ng girl kung bakit nila tinatanong.

And then he told me, gf daw yun ni J***.

so i was like.. aahhh. okay.

what amazed me was that there's no pain.

only proves that i've moved on.

so thank you so much.

to all that helped me.

Witch Clans: thank you for all the advices. (Ate Prue, Ate Gerlie, Cha)

Candy Clans: thank you for all the stories you've been writing, that motivates me to move on and forget him.

Kzoners: Thank you.

My Friends: you make me laugh. big thanks!

Jasper: thank you. galing mong magbigay ng advices. thanks, kasi kahit papano, natatawa ako sau.

Internet: whoever invented or discovered this, big thanks. keeps me busy.

haha.

thats all.

thank you!!!

My Girl (Mai geol)

2006-08-11T17:51:00.000+08:00

My Girl is a cute Korean TV drama that never strays from the usual in these productions...but like many of them has moments of true feeling, both of joy and pathos.

The story concerns a young hotel magnate whose grandfather lingers near death, depressed of having never met his granddaughter, having dismissed her mother from his life years earlier. The manager, unable to locate his long lost sister, instead hires a young con artist who has tried to scam him to act as his sister for the benefit of his grandfather.

Romantic and comic entanglements ensue between the two as their plan takes hold all to well. But what will happen when the grandfather makes a miraculous recovery and the two are forced to act as brother and sister, perhaps forever?

The 16 part drama is light and fluffy, with much humor, but also an edge of sadness and repressed passion. The performances and direction are top notch, with several poignant and heartfelt moments spread throughout.

A treat for fans of romantic Korean drama with large helpings of comedy.

Directed by : Gi-Sang Jeon
Writing Credits: Jeong Hun Hong
Mi-ran Hong
Genre: Comedy/Drama/Romance
User Rating: 8.9

Series Credited Cast:

Lee Da Hae - Joo Yu rin
Lee Dong Wook - Seol Gong Chan
Lee Gun-Jie - Seo Jeong Woo

Favorite Qoutes:

Seol Gong Chan: What should I give as a birthday gift? I'll give you whatever you want.
Ju Yoo rin: Seol Gong Chan sshi... If that's the case, then don't be too good to me. What if I really like you?

Pictures:

i super love this drama! Two thumbs up!

Exams!!! EXams!!!!

2006-08-10T20:22:00.000+08:00

Crap.

Hate it.

T.T

I was studying for almost 3 hours straight. And guess what?

Any of those things didn't occupy a single part of my brain.

Woah.

I'm really tired. And i still can't memorize these things.

Oh, yeah. I'm just sneaking in using the net.

Haha.

Next time.

^_^

Leadership Training

2006-08-08T18:05:00.000+08:00

Leadership Training ( Davao - July 27-29, 2006)

Dr. Terry Moffitt (speaker)

Registration fee (P1800)

Though the registration fee was quite expensive, it was worth it.

There are 10 schools registered. Mostly from davao city.

*Ebenezer School (Zamboanga)
*Pilgrim College (Cagayan de Oro)
*Philippine Christian Gospel School (Cebu)
*King's High (OUr school)
*Immanuel Child (Davao)
*International Christian School of Davao(Davao)
*Kabacan Wesleyans (Kabacan)
*Holy Cross(Davao)
*Southern Baptist College(Mlang)
*Bukidnon Faith (Bukidnon)

It was very fun. We stayed at a pension house - but it can be compared to a dorm.
We rode on a van, all 3a and we were sooooo NOISY.

We learned a lot. Not only leadership but also about our Lord and Savior and the people He used to praise His name.

Leadership with God.

That's how it works. Apart from God, you can do nothing.

Have you ever ask yourself what you can do in changing the world?

we may be young, but there's no exception in helping others.

there's no age limit in helping others and praising the Lord.

Hope you do what's right for everyone. ^_^

Essay Writing Contest

2006-07-11T20:01:00.000+08:00

happy day of my life...

i won the second place.. too bad, i didn't get the first place...

oh well... better luck next time.... hahaha~~!!!

i didn't expect i'd get it.. i was expecting the other school.. the one they told me who's been winning the first prize for 3 years straight...

well, they got the 4th place... and its a consolation price.. heheheh~~!!

well, juz nothing..

juz wanna share with you my victory~~!!

T_T

My Dream Guys

2006-07-09T14:53:00.000+08:00

My Superman Brandon Routh

My Lee Dong Wook oppa

My Lee JeonKi oppa

these are the guys who make my fantasy more realistic...hahaha... sometimes i wonder if i can really meet them in person.. i just hope so....

A long term Vacation

2006-07-07T21:56:00.000+08:00

so.. okay...!!

its been 28 centuries since i didn't post at this blog...

hahahah~~!!

ive been very busy.. and... well, you know... high school stuff..

oh my.. how i miss those times when i feel so free from all those.. ugh~~!!

i just wanna sit at the front of my laptop and surf and surf the net... hahahah~~!! too bad there's no big waves for me to avoid... hahah

i'm now in 3rd year and gosh~~!! i feel like i'm going to die....

i curse you chemistry!!

CHEMISTRY: why me? is it my fault that i was discovered and became a subject?
KIM: yeah~~!! its all your fault.. who was the scientist who discovered you again?
CHEMISTRY: talk to the hand, moron!
KIM: what?! Moron?! You stupid chemistry! What's so important in studying you anyway?! I won't even need you after 7 years.. i will be working in a fine office with no chemicals boiling anywhere!
CHEMISTRY: yeah, whatever!!

isn't chemistry stupid?! Waaaaaaaaaahhh!!! how can they do this to me?!

GEOMETRY: hey chem, let's join forces to make her life miserable!
CHEMISTRY: yeah sure! No problem with that!
GEOMETRY: Let's make their lives miserable.. her and all her classmates who curses us..
CHEMISTRY: i'm with you! Let's volt in!

See?! Those two subjects that i really hate! They want to make my life miserable and they would be happy to see my grades flunking! well, i won't let them!

Anyways, my new school is fine.. except for some girls who really feel they're pretty and they won't even talk to me as if i'm a greek who doesn't understand what they're saying... and some boys are too stupid to know that i'm not like any other girls who don't have any brains at their heads.

Okay, i'll ask you... what will you feel if a teacher in charge in an english contest chooses you to represent your school in the upcoming essay writing... ??? And then, after giving you the theme and after you waste your time writing essays that will soother her taste suddenly told you that you have to tell your other classmates that they have to make some too and that's the time she will choose who will go to that stupid contest??? Its very disappointing! Ayt?! Sometimes, if cursing isn't bad, i wanna curse my english teacher and my chem teacher... you know who you are! I just hope you can read this!

Being an assistant editor-in-chief is boring and sometimes exciting! I love writing stories and they can't take that away from me.. i mean, that's the only talent i got.. except for drawing.. my mom used to call me "jack of all trades, master of none"(correct me if i'm wrong)... and then that english teacher want me to drop off from the schoolpaper's staff?! What the fuck?! She really has something for me! Does she really hate me that much?! Can't she see that i'm making my very best to satisfy my readers? And so far, i've been!!!

better luck next time.. my aunt is shouting for my name agaun.. i gtta go to bed.... ciao!!!

Life changing Decision...

2006-05-17T13:28:00.000+08:00

have you ever decide a decision that you know itll change your life forever??

im here again, staring at these laptop..

the words are just screaming from my mind..

i dont know what to type here that will describe my feeling ryt now..

im having a big dillema..

what will i do??

if i choose the other, i would lose half of my life...

if i choose the other too, i would also lose half of my life..

i dont know what to do..

The PBB Teen Edition

2006-04-27T11:20:00.000+08:00

Oh gosh!

im really hooked up at this reality tv show..

i'm still up until 2 am just to watch their 30-minutes uplate show..

naka talaga!!

i really like kim and matt..

kim is so simple, kind and very cute.. she's good at breaking her bones.. hehe,... and she's very smart..

matt is sooooooooo gwapo!! he's not really aware na cute siya...

so guys, support natin sila ha??? hahahahahha

Why?

2006-04-21T10:39:00.000+08:00

"Why"

Why, do you always do this to me?
Why, couldn't you just see through me?
How come, you act like this
Like you just don't care at all

Do you expect me to believe I was the only one to fall?
I can feel, I can feel you near me, even though you're far away
I can feel, I can feel you baby, why

It's not supposed to feel this way
I need you, I need you
More and more each day
It's not supposed to hurt this way
I need you, I need you, I need you
Tell me, are you and me still together?
Tell me, do you think we could last forever?
Tell me, why

Hey, listen to what we're not saying
Let's play, a different game than what we're playing
Try, to look at me and really see my heart

Do you expect me to believe I'm gonna let us fall apart?
I can feel, I can feel you near me, even when you're far away
I can feel, I can feel you baby, why

It's not supposed to feel this way
I need you, I need you
More and more each day
It's not supposed to hurt this way
I need you, I need you, I need you
Tell me, are you and me still together?
Tell me, you think we could last forever?
Tell me, why

So go and think about whatever you need to think about
Go on and dream about whatever you need to dream about
And come back to me when you know just how you feel, you feel
I can feel, I can feel you near me, even though you're far away
I can feel, I can feel you baby, why

It's not supposed to hurt this way
I need you, I need you
More and more each day
It's not supposed to hurt this way
I need you, I need you, I need you
Tell me

It's not supposed to hurt this way
I need you, I need you
More and more each day
It's not supposed to hurt this way
I need you, I need you, I need you
Tell me, are you and me still together?
Tell me, do you think we could last forever?
Tell me, why

My Inuyasha!!

2006-04-20T13:32:00.000+08:00

My Prince!!

Ghost in The Cabinet

2006-04-19T12:04:00.000+08:00

When I was still a five year old girl, my brother would always scare me by the story about the ghost in my cabinet. He said that when Dad bought our house, there was a little boy who hanged himself in the cabinet. At first I thought, it was a very bad joke. But my brother reassured me that what he’s saying was totally true. How can that be? He never even saw the ghost boy at my room nor did I heard or felt it.
Not until my 13th birthday came. Me and my friends went upstairs to start my pajama party. It was 11 of the evening when Cindy suggested that it would be wonderful at the same time exciting, if we talk about ghosts and other unnatural stories. Mary had the guts to share first her encounter with ghosts. She said that the first time she saw a ghost was when she was nine years old at the backyard of her grandmother’s house. She saw a white lady standing behind a banana tree. Before she could shout for help, her eyes closed and she fell down on the ground unconscious. Then, Beulah shared her story too. We all knew it already. We were in grade two when it happened. She sat under the mango tree and was acting like she was a dwarf. Believe it or not, she really looked like a dwarf and her voice was really like a dwarf. We laughed at what we’re hearing and watching. Suddenly, her eyes became red and started to mumble words that were not found in the dictionary. We called our teachers and she was sent to a quack doctor. After ten minutes, she was unconscious. The next day we asked her about her feeling when she was possessed, she answered that she didn’t remember anything that had happened yesterday.
Then, it was my turn among us five. I don’t know what to say. I haven’t encountered any ghosts in my whole life. An idea came up to me. What if I’ll tell them about the boy in the cabinet? Yeah. Why not? It’s not true anyway. When I was about to open my mouth, I felt cold and I felt like there’s someone looking at me inside the room. We lowered down the air conditioner and went back to our seats in the floor. When I was about to tell them about it again, the curtain at the sliding door in our balcony suddenly flew in. I mean how’s that? The door’s close. We’re using air condition and if there’s wind, we should have felt it. Then, we shivered in fear. Cindy decided that we should pray and go to bed. We followed her and went directly to our beds. I covered myself with pillows and blanket.
It was 4 am when I decided to go to the bathroom and take a pee. I don’t know, but I think I saw someone standing at the front of the cabinet. A boy, about my age, about my height and well, he’s really white. My skin hairs stood up. I turned on the lights, rubbed my eyes and took all my guts and looked at the cabinet again, no one’s there. So I thought, maybe I’m still very sleepy.
The next day, I slept at my brother’s room. When I was about to go inside my room to use my computer, I heard something like someone’s crashing something. And before I could open the door, my Mom shouted for dinner. I left and went back to the kitchen. Then I went back again to use the internet and research on something. Then I heard someone cried. I was very afraid, at the same time very curious. As they said, curiosity kills a person. I took all my guts, said a little prayer and went inside the room. And there, I saw the same boy I saw when we had our pajama party. I don’t know what to do. I couldn’t open my mouth. I couldn’t move. The boy went closer to me and smiled. And yeah. He smiled. I don’t know but my muscles moved to smile back on him.
I sat down at the front of the computer and researched on something. I felt so comfortable. I felt no fear. I looked at my back and he was sitting at my bed looking at me. I decided to talk to him. Maybe he’s good. Maybe I can help his soul. Maybe..
I asked him what happened and why he decided to kill his self. He told me that he didn’t like his life. He always felt so alone. He said that his parents were always away for business. And he didn’t like it at all. I asked him why he’s still here. He answered me that before he died, he didn’t make any friends. And the angel said, before he could enter the judgment throne, he must first make a friend and enjoy the moment of having a friend.
I looked at him as an idea came to my mind. I offered him my friendship and after that, we became friends. That was beyond my wildest dreams. To befriend a ghost? Impossible. But its true. I always talk to him when I needed someone to talk to. Cry in front of him when my mother scolds me. Shout with him at the wall when I needed to let it all out. It was just so fun. I felt I had a friend who’s bringing me fun more than my alive friends. He was just so sweet and so innocent and so.. I don’t know how to describe. But as days go by, I felt something I knew I shouldn’t feel. I felt something that I wasn’t familiar of. I’m falling in love in the ghost at my cabinet. No way! But yeah. How can that be? I tried to kept it to myself until one day.
He told me that he’ll be leaving the world now for the second time. He told me, that I was a great friend. He told me that he should’ve met me before he decided to killed himself. Maybe he could’ve saved his life and enjoyed it. He told me that he loved me more than anything. And so did I. Before I could open my mouth, he put his fingers to my lips and told me that he already knew what I was going to say. He said that he’ll always remember me. My body moved. I hugged him. But he’s a spirit. How come I could touch his body? And a thing happened that I’ll remember and treasure for all of my life. We kissed. A kiss that would remain deep inside our heart. I opened my eyes, filled with tears as his body turned to air. Then came a very bright light. It was blinding yet so warm. I couldn’t see a thing.

“Farewell Michelle..”

The last words I heard from him.

“Farewell Johnny.”

I whispered in the air.

It was something I know I’ll remember forever. You see, I still haven’t moved on. He’ll always be in my heart. And by the way, I now believe in ghosts.

***

just another story i made. post your comments. thankies.

First Love is it?

2006-04-18T12:02:00.000+08:00

First Love is it?

I was in grade six when I had my first love. Oh yeah. First love. Its not just puppy love. It’s FIRST LOVE. I met him at our school. Honestly, di ko naman siya napansin the first time I saw him. I mean, there’s no attraction. And sa totoo lang, he’s one of the guys I hated. Really. My first impression were he’s BOASTFUL, SELFISH and STUPID.

But then I got to know him when he started texting me. What was funny back then was that we were speaking English to each other and he was really goofing, saying that he was a second year high school and that his name was Lester blah blah blah. [Lester was my ultimate crush that time]. Syempre, I didn’t believe him. WTH?! Ni wala ngang pakialam sakin si Lester that time eh. Waheheh! Kaya hindi talaga ako naniwala. Napagod na din ako sa kakaguess kung sino siya, so I turned off my phone. Ayoko na kasing dinedisturb ako. And that time, I had hundreds of homeworks to finish. So wala taalga akong oras para isayang sa kanya.

After 10 minutes na nakaoff yung phone ko, our phone rang. Syempre, ano bang ginagawa kung nagriring ang phone sa room mo? Stare at it? Hehe. So ayun, sinagot ko kaagad. I was expecting Alexa’s call that time. [o Alexa, hehe.. andito ka o..] The guy was asking if he can talk to me. As if naman o. Di familiar yung voice eh. So kinausap ko. Sabi ko ako yun. He asked me kung may nagtitext daw sakin. Sabi ko naman wala. Sabi niya “ows?” as if? Nacurious na talaga ako. What I hated most is yung parang ginagawa akong tanga. So ayun, blinackmail ko siya para sabihin niya yung name niya. and he told me si “ano”[di ko na sasabihin name niya ha? baka mabasa niya pa.. waaaah!] daw siya.

To make the long story short. We became textmates. Pero pagdating sa school, wala naman kaming kibuan. Ano ba yun? hehe. Two months na siguro na we were texting each other. Then he started texting my bestfriends too. ___ and ___ were his friends when they were in their former school. Iisang club daw sila. Whatever. So there.. they became close to each other. I don’t know, pero wala talaga akong lakas na kausapin siya nong time na yun. I mean, nagssmile ako everytime we bump to each other. Yun din ginagawa niya eh. The he told me that he’s crushing on me. So was I to him. Nag-aminan kaming dalawa. Pero through text. I didn’t have the guts to tell it in front of him. We were going well naman. My bestfriends knew that all. Na you know, my crush ako sa kanya.. as in head over heels yung pagkakagusto ko sa kanya. Kaya natotorpe ako in front of him.

It was Monday[October 20, 2003], we went to a competition. Math Whiz ata yun. I was one of the contestants with one of my bestfriends. That morning, sabi pa sakin ni __ ‘goodluck’… then he texted me too, na goodluck. He waved pa nga noong paakyat na ako sa schoolbus. Syempre, my heart was jumping of joy. We won second place[malas nga eh!]. I was down becuz of that. Second place? I was aiming the first place. Simple math lang naman yun noh. By team kasi, so you have to respect each other’s answers. So ayun, respect. Kaya second place lang kami. [hehe]. As I said, I was feeling down that day. It was 4:30 of the afternoon when “she” texted me. “She” said nagdidate daw sila ni “ano” that exact time. I was like “WTF?!”. My other bezie read the text message and she had the same reaction. I went home feeling down. As if na pinatong sakin ni Atlas[a greek character] yung world na pinapasan niya. Dumating kami sa school, but since it was dark already, wala ng tao. So I directly went home. My Tita and Tito congratulated me. I smiled at them and went upstairs. I really couldn’t believe it. My bestfriend is dating my ultimate crush? Okay lang sana kung di niya alam.. pero the worse was, she knew how I feel for that person. Then the phone rang. I hurriedly answered it. Baka si “ano”. But then I heard an enthusiastic voice saying “KAMI NA!”.. WTF?! For a moment at least, hindi ako nakapagsalita. I was blank. ‘How can she do this to me?’ thoughts that waited for answers. I was able to say ‘right. Ang bilis a?’.. we chatted for awhile.. about the contest, about my classmate’s birthday, about “them”. I decided to say goodbye to take some rest. “she” has a boyfriend that time. And her boyfriend was his bestfriend. October 20 was her boyfriend’s birthday. Seatmate ko pa yung boyfriend niya. Every time he talks about her, I can see in his eyes how happy he is to be her girlfriend. What the hell is happening? I mean, tinutime niya? or brineakan niya si boyfriend para kay “ano”? sana naman, not on his birthday. Ang sama niya naman. And of all the guys out there, bakit ang bestfriend pa ni seatmate? Ang sama naman.

Syempre the next day, I went to school. I looked up at the bright side, mas magiging exciting to. Another trial na binigay sakin ni Lord. At kailangan kong malampasan yun. Everyday, magkasama sila.As in, naisip niyo ba how painful that was for me? Oh gosh! Hanggang ngayon, I still think about it how I managed to go through all that. Wahehehe!

“Her” father found out all about it. Ano bang ginagawa pag nalaman ng Papa mo na may boyfriend ka at the age of 12? They broke up. After a week, he came to me and asked me if he could court me.. nyeh! Ano ako? Panakip butas? He told me na dapat daw pagseselosin lang naman daw nila ako.. he didn’t expect na aabot sa ganun.

Whatever!

Its been two years na rin since that things happened. Honestly, the pain’s still here. I forgave her. Of course, she’s my friend. But I didn’t forget. I’m far from him, pero siya parin. 1 year na kaming hindi nagkikita, pero siya parin. Di naman ako ganito dati ah..

Guess I just really love him.

But I know, time will heal me.

I just hope so.

Then again, I won’t close my heart yet.

As Gennosuke sama said, “fate is what we make.”

Maybe one day, our roads will meet again, see each other, and make our own fates.
I just hope that when that time comes, I’m still ready to accept YOU.

My Bad

2006-04-17T21:08:00.000+08:00

Another day had passed..

I went to my mother’s business office to help her with some things. He said that I should help my Mom in the business.

One question: What help can I help?

My Mom knows everything. Unlike me. I mean, she’s really good at everything. Unlike me. Oh yeah. I’m good at something or maybe I’m good at one thing. Everything I did was always wrong. Yeah. Always wrong. I think I’m just another person at this world. Another person with no such reasons to live.

Enough of this nonsense talk.

**whatever!**

I went to see the “House of Fury”, though I hadn’t finish it. My annoying brother pushed the stop button.. and I didn’t have time again to watch it this day… shtufhed!!

<---that boy eating nacho is mah bro!

**duh!**

My closest cousin went to Himamaylan[a town] coz of her duty. She’ll become a nurse someday. Hehe. I kinda miss her. Hehe.

<----that gurl is my cousin.. **Oh snap!**

I was pissed off awhile ago at the Manhattan Color Labs [it’s a picture developing store].. I was planning to send all my pictures at my cellphone via infrared so that they’ll be able to save it in a Cd. But their stupid infrared port was having a technical error. Stupid! I think all my expectations drained into something called disappointments.

**My Bad!**

I was walking down at our village park when I bumped into somebody. He looked at me straight in the eyes. I saw his tshirt was wet coz of the spilled shake he was holding and drinking. Okay, my bad. I smiled at him and said sorry. As I was about to exit at that suffocating place, he grabbed my right arm. Okay, his bad. And before his face registered to my mind, he asked me the question I’ve been waiting for my whole life.

“Can I have your number?”

WTH?!

Too good to be true. My ultimate crush asked for my number?! Now I believe in the saying, good things come your way when you least expect it. Okay, I’m not a flirt. So, I didn’t give him my number. Hehe. My bad. You know, If he’s really into me, he’ll dig my number coz he’s interested in me? Ayt? He’ll find a way to get my number from someone. Or, if he’s really into me, he won’t hesitate to exert his efforts. Naah..

Okay, so much for this post.

Then again, I’ll be back for tomorrow’s post.

Ciao people. ♣ ♣

All about Him [inu chan]

2006-04-17T09:52:00.000+08:00

Related anime:
Inuyasha Meguri Au Mae no Unmei Koiuta (special) (prequel)
Inuyasha the Movie: Affections Touching Across Time (sequel)
Inuyasha the Movie 2: The Castle Beyond the Looking Glass (sequel)
InuYasha the Movie 3: Swords of an Honorable Ruler (sequel)
Inuyasha the Movie 4: Fire on the Mystic Island (sequel)

Alternative title:
犬夜叉 (Japanese)

Age rating: Teenagers (May contain bloody violence, bad language, nudity)
Genres: Adventure, Comedy, Drama, Fantasy, Historical, Romance, Shounen, Supernatural

Plot Summary: Higurashi Kagome, after being pulled down a well by a demon, finds herself in Feudal Japan, where she learns that a powerful jewel has been reborn inside her body. After the jewel shatters in an attempt to retrieve it from one of the many demons who was after its power, Kagome must join forces with the half-demon Inu Yasha (also after the jewel's power) to track down the shards of the jewel before its power falls into the wrong hands.

User Ratings: 1564 ratings have been given [details]

Masterpiece: 249 votes (sub:114, dub:110, ?:10, edit.dub:10, Spa.dub:2, raw:1, Rus.sub:1, Ita.dub:1)
Excellent: 360 votes (dub:173, sub:158, edit.dub:13, ?:6, Spa.dub:4, raw:3, Ita.edit.dub:1, Ger.dub:1, Tag.dub:1)
Very good: 335 votes (dub:154, sub:139, edit.dub:19, ?:8, raw:7, Ger.dub:2, Ger.edit.dub:2, Kor.dub:1, Spa.dub:1, Spa.sub:1, Ita.dub:1)
Good: 277 votes (sub:129, dub:121, edit.dub:8, Spa.dub:5, Ita.dub:4, Por.dub:3, ?:3, raw:1, Fre.sub:1, Ger.dub:1, Tag.dub:1)
Decent: 149 votes (sub:77, dub:57, edit.dub:6, ?:3, raw:2, Ger.dub:2, Spa.dub:2)
So-so: 70 votes (dub:33, sub:29, edit.dub:5, raw:2, Spa.edit.dub:1)
Not really good: 45 votes (dub:22, sub:17, edit.dub:4, ?:1, Ger.dub:1)
Weak: 39 votes (dub:20, sub:15, edit.dub:2, ?:1, Ger.dub:1)
Bad: 15 votes (dub:8, sub:5, raw:1, edit.dub:1)
Awful: 9 votes (dub:6, Por.dub:1, sub:1, ?:1)
Worst ever: 16 votes (dub:9, sub:7)
Seen in part or in whole by 3329 users, rank: #4
Median rating: Very good
Arithmetic mean: 7.628 (Very good-.37), std. dev.: 2.0173, rank: #549
Weighted mean: 7.4743 (Good+.47), rank: #590
Bayesian estimate: 7.4733 (Good+.47), rank: #378

Running time: 25 minutes
Number of episodes: 167
Episode titles: We have 167

Vintage:
2000-10-16 to 2004-09-13
2002-08-31 (USA)
2002-12-02 (Brazil)
2003-09-05 (Canada, YTV)
Releases: We have 52

Opening Theme:
#1: "Change the World" by V6 (eps 01-34)
#2: "I Am" by Hitomi (eps 35-64)
#3: "Owarinai Yume" by Nanase Aikawa (eps 65-95)
#4: "Grip!" by Every Little Thing (eps 96-127)
#5: "One Day, One Dream" by Tackey & Tsubasa (eps 128-153)
#6: "Angelus" by Hitomi Shimatani (eps 154-167)
Ending Theme:
#1: "My Will" by Dream (eps 01-20,166-167)
#2: "Fukai Mori" by Do As Infinity (eps 21-41)
#3: "Dearest" by Ayumi Hamasaki (eps 42-60)
#4: "Every Heart - Minna no Kimochi" by Boa (eps 61-85)
#5: "Shinjitsu no Uta" by Do As Infinity (eps 86-108)
#6: "Itazurana Kiss" by day after tomorrow (eps 109-127)
#7: "Come" by Namie Amuro (eps 128-148)
#8: "Brand-New World" by V6 (eps 149-165)

The 8th Time

2006-04-16T13:59:00.001+08:00

oh snap**

this is my 8th blog. i hate it. as if naman, i really can maintain this.. naah, juz trying.. hehe.. anyways, i'm really not a computer genius.. so expect my blog to be boring and not so beautiful.. hahaha!! juz like the owner..

so now, ima tell you something..

MY ONE AND ONLY LOVE IS INU YASHA

if someone tried to get INU YASHA from me
im gonna break her neck juz like what i did to KIKYO and KAGOME!

so you better watch out!

keep away from my dear INU YASHA!

this is my first post at my walang kwentang blog.

you're always welcome here!!

Was it the Right Thing

2001-10-29T13:07:00.000+08:00

It all started when I was 6 years old. While I was playing outside on my farm in California, I met a boy. He was an average kind of boy who teased you and then you chased them and beat them up. After that first meeting in which I beat him up we kept on meeting and beating each other up at the fence. That only lasted for a little while though. We would meet at the fence all the time and we were always together.

I would tell him all my secrets. He was very quiet he would just listen to what I had to say. I found him easy to talk to and I could talk to him about everything. In school we had separate friends but when we got home we would always talk about what happened in school. One day I said to him that a guy I liked hurt me and broke my heart. He just comforted me and said everything would be okay. He gave me words of encouragement and helped me get over him. I was happy and thought of him as a real friend. But I knew that there was something else about him that I liked. I thought of it that night and figured it was just a friend kinda thing that I was feeling.

All through high school and even through graduation we're always together and of course I thought of it as being friends. But I knew deep inside that I really felt differently. On graduation night even though we had different dates to the prom I wanted to be with him. That night after everybody went home I went to his house and wanted to tell him that I wanted to see him. Well, that night was my big chance and all I did was just sit there with him watching the stars and talking about what I was going to do and what he was going to do. I looked into his eyes and listened to him talk about what his dream was. How he wanted to get married and settle down. He said how he wanted to be rich and successful. All I could do was to tell him my dream and cuddle next to him.

I went home hurting because I didn't tell him how I was feeling. I wanted to tell him so bad that I loved him but I was too scared and frightened. I let my feelings go and told myself that someday I would tell him just how I felt. All through college I wanted to tell him but he always had someone with him. After graduation he got a job in New York, I was happy for him but at the same time I was sad to see him go. I was sad also because I didn't tell him how I felt. But I couldn't let him know now that he was leaving for his big job. So I just kept it to myself and watched him go on the plane. I cried as I hugged him for what I felt was going to be the last time. I went home that night and cried my eyes out. I felt hurt that I didn't tell him what I had inside my heart.

Well, I got a job as a secretary and then worked my way to a computer analyst. I was proud of what I had accomplished. One day I got a letter with an invitation to a marriage. It was from him, I was happy and sad at the same time. Now I know that I could never be with him and that we could only be friends. I went to the wedding the next month. It was a big occasion. The big church wedding and the reception at the hotel. I met the bride and of course him. I fell in love one more time. But I held back so it wouldn't spoil what should be the happiest day in his life. I tried to have fun that night but it was killing me inside watching him being so happy and me trying to be happy covering up my sadness tears inside of me.

I left New York feeling that I did the right thing. Before I left on the flight, he came running out of nowhere and said his good-byes and how he was very happy to see me. I came home and just tried to forget about what went on in New York. I had to go on with my life. As the years went on, we wrote to each other on what was going on and how he had missed talking to me. On one occasion he never wrote back to me at all. I was getting worried as to why he hadn't written anything for a long time after I had already written 6 letters to him. Well, just when everything seemed hopeless and sad in my life, I got a note that said: "meet me at the fence where we used to talk about things". I went and saw him there. I was happy to see him, but he was broken-hearted and sad inside. We hugged until we couldn't breathe anymore.

Then he told me about the divorce and why he hadn't written for a long time. He cried until he couldn't cry anymore. Finally, we went back to the house and talked and laughed about what I had been going and to catch up on old times. But in all of this, I couldn't tell him how I felt about him. In the days that followed, he had fun and forgot about all his problem and his divorce. I fell in love again with him. When it came time for him to leave back to New York, I went to see him off and cried. I hated to see him leave. He promised to see me every time he could get a vacation. I couldn't wait for him to come so I could be with him. We would always have fun when we were together.

One day he didn't show up like he said he would. I figured that he might have been busy. The days turned into months and I just forgot about it. Then I got a call one day from a lawyer in New York. The lawyer said that he had died in a car accident going to the airport. And that it took this long till everything was settled. It broke my heart. I was shocked about what took place. Now I knew why he didn't come that day. Again, I was broken-hearted. I cried that night, cried tears of sadness and heartache. Asking questions why did this happen to a kind guy like him?

I gathered my things and went to New York for the reading of his will. Of course, things were given to his family and his ex-wife. I finally got to meet her since the last time we met at the wedding. She explained to me how he was and how he always provided. But he was always unhappy. She would always try everything but she couldn't get him happy, as he was that night at their wedding. When the will was read, the one thing that was given to me was a diary. It was a diary that of his life. I cried as it was given to me. I didn't know what to think. Why was this given to me? I took it and flew back to California. As I flew on the plane I remembered the good times that we had together. I started reading the diary and what was written.

The diary was started with the day we first met. I read on till I started to cry. The diary told of him saying that he had fallen in love with me that day I was broken-hearted. But he was too afraid to tell me what he had felt. That is why he was so quiet and liked to listen to me. It told of how he wanted to tell me so many times, but was too afraid to say anything. It told of when he went to New York and fell in love with another.

How the happiest time he had was seeing me and dancing with me at the wedding. He said he imagined it was our wedding. How he was always unhappy till he had no choice but to divorce his wife. How the best time in his life was to read the letters written to him by me. Finally, the diary ended when it said, "today I will tell her I love her". It was the day he was killed. The day I was going to finally find out what was really in his heart.

If you love someone, don't wait till tomorrow to tell him/her. Maybe that next day will never come at all.

The Salty Coffee

2001-10-29T13:04:00.000+08:00

He met her on a party, she was so outstanding, many guys chasing after her,while he was so normal, nobody paid attention to him. At the end of the party, he invited her to have coffee with him, she was surprised, but due to politeness, she promised. They sat in a nice coffee shop, he was too nervous to say anything, she felt uncomfortable, she thought, please, let me back home. Suddenly he asked the waiter: would you please give me some salt? I'd like to put it in my coffee.

Everybody stared at him, so strange! His face turned red, but, still, he put the salt in his coffee and drank it. She asked him curiously: why you have this hobby? He replied: when I was a little boy, I was living near the sea, I like playing in the sea, I could felt the taste of the sea, salty and bite, just like the taste of the salty coffee. Now every time I have the salty coffee, I will think of my childhood, think of my hometown, I miss my hometown so much, I miss my parents who still living there. Saying that, tears filled his eyes. She was deeply touched. That's his true feeling, from the bottom of his heart.

"A man who can tell out his homesick, he must be a man loves home, cares about home, has responsibility of home," she thought. Then she also started to talk, talked about her faraway hometown, her childhood, her family. That was a really nice talk, also a beautiful beginning of their story. They continue to date. She found actually he was a man who meets all her demands: he was tolerance, kind hearted, warm, careful...he was such a good guy but she almost missed him! Thanks to his salty coffee!

Then the story was just like every beautiful love story: the princess married to the prince, then they were living the happy life...And, every time she made coffee for him, she put some salt in the coffee, as she knew that's the way he liked.

After 40 years, he passed away, left her a letter which said: "My dearest, please forgive me, forgive my whole life lie. This was the only lie I said to you, the salty coffee. Remember the first time we dated? I was so nervous at that time, actually I wanted some sugar, but I said salt. It's hard for me to change so I just go ahead. I never thought that could be the start of our communication! I tried to tell you the truth many times in my life, but I was too afraid to do that, as I have promised not to lie to you for anything..Now I'm dying, I'm afraid of nothing so I tell you the truth: I don't like the salty coffee, what a strange bad taste..but I have the salty coffee for my whole life since I knew you, I never feel sorry for anything I do for you. Having you with me is my biggest happiness for my whole life.

If I can live for the second time, I still want to know you and have you as my whole life wife, even though I have to drink the salty coffee again."

Her tears made the letter totally wet. Someday, someone asked her: What's the taste of salty coffee?

It's sweet. She replied.

When Friendship Turns to Love

2001-10-29T12:59:00.000+08:00

I didn't want to depart my home town, which I've been settling ever since the day I was born. Neither do I want to leave my school, relatives, and most importantly my best friend Samuel.

Sam and I had been best friends since elementary school. I still recall the day when we first met; it was the first day of grade 1 and we were in the same class. Unintentionally I collided with his head trying to reach for my pencil that had been knocked out on the floor. Fortunately I didn’t know that he was trying to reach for it too. From that time on we got close, share lunch, talk and became best friends. We’d hang around together as often as I’d hang around with my family. He’s like my brother; a brother who I could lean to when I have problems, a brother who’s always there for me when I’m in trouble, a brother who loved me for me… at least as a sister. What he didn’t know is that I am deeply in love with him ever since the day we first met; which saddens me the most, assuming that he only thinks of me as his sister.

In sixth grade, in spite of this, things changed. We had been together for 5 implausible years, but this year is diverse. I was moving. Moving far away from him, it’s like a new world I’m getting myself into. My deep profoundness love for him is still there and I don’t want to leave him. We agreed to call each other at least twice a week, send letters and emails if we have time, and stay in touch with each other. Except that, it wouldn’t be the same, it wouldn’t be like old times, we wouldn’t see each other except in pictures, we couldn’t do anything together now. We couldn’t be there for each other, all the time anymore. Furthermore we are two continents away from each other. And I wanted to confess. Tomorrow, I decided.

The day of the departure came but he was nowhere in sight. I tried calling his cell but no one was answering it. I was so worried and sad that he forgot about my departure. I left the country heartbroken and thinking that maybe he had a good excuse why he didn’t go.

One year had passed and still no sign of him. I tried calling his home every once in a while but his mother would always say, “Oh he’s not here, but I’ll tell him you called!” and I would be so depressed. Sometimes I just think that he’s been avoiding my calls. But why I wondered I was going off to grade 9. I hadn’t been getting any emails or letters from him; or hadn’t been getting any at all. I tried to tell myself that, “Its okay Katherine, he’s just busy that’s all.” However I had my doubts. What if he’s not busy at all? What if he forgot about me? What if he got a girlfriend and been too busy to talk or even stay in touch with me? A lot of what ifs’ are on my head. I tried emailing him and writing letters but there was no reply. What if all my what ifs’ came true? Then maybe I should be pleased, pleased for the reason that he’s happy. On the contrary why didn’t he tell me?

2 years had passed and still no sign of his letters or emails or phone calls. I tried to get over him. I really tried but I can’t. I just couldn’t forget the fact that I love him.

One week later, I received a letter from his home address, accusing it was him I ripped it open. I was so anxious to read his letter that I skipped a couple of parts, that I thought wasn’t that important. Unfortunately, it is important. It says that he’s sick and is in a coma. I was so shocked to see this that I ran inside to tell my parents to get me a ticket back to see him. Luckily they approved and booked me the latest flight.

I preceded to the hospital his in. I was so worried to see him, concerned that he’s undergoing from a poor health. When I got in his room my heart raised and kept thumping on my chest. I noticed him lying there with bandages all over his body. I felt sorry for him. All this time I was blaming him of overlooking me while his being diagnosed. I had a talk with his mom and she told me what had happened to him. She assumed that he was crossing the street while he was writing in a book and a truck had hit him. That book was sadly addressed to me, it has no title its cover is blank. I opened it and started reading the first page.

September 17, 200*

“This is the day I left.” I thought.

Katherine left today. I’m so upset to see her leave. That’s why I didn’t go to the airport at all. But I tried to go realizing that I had to confess my love for her before she leaves but I was too late. I’m going to miss her so bad. All the good times we had will never be forgotten. I wish I could come with her. I love her so very much.

My tears started falling. I admired him. I was in awe. He made a diary for me starting with the day I left. And what mostly saddened me is the fact that he loved me too. I scanned through pages and read the last page he had written on.

March 26, 200*

I can’t wait for Kath to see what I had done for her. I hope she’ll like it. I just miss her so bad. I wish she was here right now in my arms holding me tight and wishing she wouldn’t be away anymo ---

And it was cut right there. I couldn’t imagine the scene how it happened. I saw a glimpse of him again and a tear fell on my cheeks. I hold his hand so tight. That time I had wished that I hadn’t left and be with him throughout this tough time. There was this throb in my chest. I scanned again and all the other pages are blank.

A letter dropped when I was about to close it.

Dear Kath,

If you are done reading my diary I want you to fill out the other half of this book. I miss you so bad, Kath. I’m sorry if I keep missing your calls I was just too busy with work. Yeah, Kath I’m working now so I could surprise you and go there and maybe finish my school there. I can’t wait to see you soon. I’m also sorry that it took me 2 years to get this to you its just that I didn’t know your address there and I had to look for your relatives to tell me your address, and about the email thing I tried to email you back but our computer is really messed up; I ought to get the fix sometime so I could email you. I’m really sorry if you thought that I don’t care about you, I do. I really do. I love you since the first day we met it’s just that I was too scared to confess because it might ruin our friendship and that I think that you only think of me as a brother. I love you Kath, I love you with all my heart and I’m sacrificing everything just to be with you.

With Love,
Sam

By the time I was done reading his letter. I heard a beep it was coming from him. I was stunned. I dropped the book and ran towards him and started calling the nurse.

“Stay with me please, stay with me… don’t leave me please. I can’t let you leave me. Please. I. Love. You.” I cried as the tears fell. I was shaking. I didn’t want him to die. I didn’t want him to leave me. I want him to be here by my side comforting me, and telling me that it was all a joke. But it’s not a joke. It’s reality. He’s dead and here I am living my life through pages in the diary. I filled the rest of the book. I even started a new book since it couldn’t hold all my memories and thoughts of him. And I will always remember him. How he had been a good friend. How he helped me through bad times. How he loved me so much that I didn’t want to let go. I will not forget him. He had been the best inspiration of my life. He is the best of friend anyone could ever have. I will not forget him. I love him.

“C’mon Kath, were going to be late for school!” Mark shouted through our front door. Mark had been my friend since the day I first came to his school. He had been a good friend, almost as good as Sam. He kind of reminds me of Sam. Sometimes when I'm with Mark, I kind of think that Sam sent him to guide me and to be with me just like he did for me when he was alive. "Coming!” I shouted back. This is a fresh new start and a beginning of an ideal friendship. Or so I thought.

Korean Basics 1

2001-10-29T12:41:00.000+08:00

The following Korean words and phrases are spelled in the standard alphabet, followed by a phonetic spelling.

Hello/Good Morning/Good Afternoon/Good Evening/How are you?
Annyeonghaseyo? Ahn yawng hah seh yoh?

Hello (Answering telephone, Getting someone's attention)
Yeoboseyo? Yaw boh seh yoh?

Goodbye (Say to someone leaving)
Annyeonghi kaseyo. Ahn yawng hee kah seh yoh.

Goodbye (Say when you are leaving)
Annyeonghi kyeseyo. Ahn yawng hee kyeh seh yoh.

Nice to meet you.
Manna boeeo ban gapseumnida. Mahna beh bahn gahp sum nee dah.

Thank you.
Kamsahamnida. Kam sahm nee da.

You're welcome.
Cheonmaneyo. Chawn mahn neh yoh.

Yes.
Ye/Ne. Yeh/Neh.

No.
Aniyo. Ah nee yoh.

Numbers
0    yawng

1    eel

2    ee

3    sahm

4    sah

5    oh

6    yook

7    cheel

8    pahl

9    goo

10   sheep
11   sheep eel
20   ee sheep
100 baek
200 ee baek
1000   chun
10,000 mahn
20,000 ee mahn
100,000 sheemmahn
1,000,000 baekmahn

Transportation
Bus
baw suh

Airport
Gong Hang

Train
Gee Cha

Subway Station
Jeehawchawl Yawk

Taxi
Taek Shee

Miscellaneous

Please
Bu tahk hab nee da

Refund
Hwan Bool

Toilet
Hwah jahng sheel

Emergency Phrases

Call the police!
Gyungchal boolla jusehyoh!

Fire!
Booleeyaah!

Help me!
Dowa juseyo!

Water please!
Mool jusehyoh!

Basic Korean Words/Phrases/Sentences

2001-10-29T11:43:00.019+08:00

Learn to Speak Korean!

2001-10-29T11:41:00.001+08:00

Singleness

2001-10-29T11:35:00.001+08:00

Singleness

Merriam Webster Dictionary defines the word single as “unmarried” or being left alone. I define the word as “not being in a commitment”, not being in a relationship with someone and not being with a guy or a girl everywhere you go introducing the person as your official girlfriend or boyfriend. Singleness doesn’t mean being lonely, being alone with yourself, being different from the others who have someone. It doesn’t mean when you’re single, you are less of a woman/man. Singleness is a choice or a destiny.

I’ve been single for almost all my life, in other words, NBSB which means No Boyfriend Since Birth. Being single is fun. You can do almost everything. You can go out with almost everyone – girls and boys all at the same time. You can be friends with every other guy without someone asking you questions why, without someone stopping you and without someone getting hurt. If you were to ask me why I didn’t commit, I would probably answer you one thing: I’m not ready. I’m not ready to hold hands with a boy in the open, I’m not ready to introduce him to my friends as my boyfriend, I’m not ready to say ‘I Love You’ and lastly, I’m not ready yet to have my first broken heart.

Most of my friends have boyfriends and girlfriends. I guess among my high school friends, I was the only one who graduated that never left a scar on a boy’s heart back at my school and back at the town. My friends would tease me about it. Others would laugh. Sometimes, it also makes me wonder why. I’ve loved a few times – different guys and different feelings. The last guy I remembered loving was “him”. I was close to having my first “boyfriend” and yet, I chose to let go of him because of the fact that I wasn’t ready. Yes, I regretted it. I cried my heart out when I found out a year later that he fell in love with another girl who looked exactly like me. I thought, I could’ve grabbed the chance God gave me. But crying wouldn’t make any changes; it couldn’t undo what have been done. I chose to move on and be single.

There are many reasons why people choose to be single. My story was one. I was afraid. Others would tell you, they were broken hearted and they can’t love another or, they’re still waiting for that someone who will make them see life in a kaleidoscope, they believe in destiny, their priority is their families; they’re too busy to go out with someone and a thousand more. Each one has his own story, his own reasons, his fears, his wants and needs. It could also be of the fact that they don’t want to be interrupted from their living as single, they don’t want someone to just enter their lives and mess it all up. Sometimes, you can’t blame those people. Being single is not a joke, it takes a lot of courage to be different from the norm and be alone.

I’ve dated a few guys. I’ve been asked a few times if they can court and such. I’ve been super close to changing my status at Friendster from single to “in a relationship”. I’ve met wonderful guys but none of them made me want to be with them, none of them convinced me to give up my daily routine as a single person, none of them made me want to buy a load from the store to text them up all night and get a very big eye bug. NONE.

I have seen my friends cry over a guy for months. I’ve seen my friends being cheated on by their so-called boyfriends and girlfriends. I’ve seen girls being impregnated by their boyfriends and were left all alone to raise up a child. I’ve seen heart-breaking moments because they chose to love, and they were loved in return for a few days, weeks and months. After that, what happens? They all find themselves in a situation where they feel the world has stopped turning; where the question “WHY?” pops out and worse, where they start to blame God.

So why would you really enter a relationship when you know it won’t last at the first place? Is it because you just want to have a boyfriend? Is because you just want to be with somebody? Is it because you you’ve felt the so-called tingling feeling coming up your spine when you are with the person? Please, spare me from that tale. In the end, you’ll still find your hear shattered into pieces. So why risk it?

Being single is fun. You can hang out with your friends; you have all the time in the world. You learn to be independent without relying to someone. You can live without guys or girls. You can evaluate yourself more. There’s no chance of getting hurt. There’s no chance of having a broken heart. There’s no chance of crying for a man or a woman. There’s no chance of drinking late at night with your black mascara smeared on your face with your tears. There are no photos torn into two and thrown at the trashcan. Life is simpler. Life is fun. Life is worry-free.

Looklet Designs

2001-01-25T20:35:00.012+08:00

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